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the clothes she wore

Posted: Fri May 15, 2020 9:33 am
by Dave
the clothes she wore 
were not semaphore
nor invitation

his intentions
were neither response
nor acceptance

the result
not love
or sexy


bruises fade
the pain remains

Re: the clothes she wore

Posted: Fri May 15, 2020 10:42 am
by indar
So much for blaming the victim if it isn't seductive clothing, right? But wait! Why was she walking all alone:
in that neighborhood,
at that time of night,
through the campus after what happened last week?

This brief write lays it out in stark terms. It addresses an age-old  condition that needs to be exposed over and over. Thanks Dave.


 

Re: the clothes she wore

Posted: Fri May 15, 2020 1:25 pm
by ajduclos
Slamming and stark - right on the mark Dave.  Well written and no holds barred.  Bravo !!!
Aj

Re: the clothes she wore

Posted: Fri May 15, 2020 8:02 pm
by Colm Roe
So much said in so few words.
And the best use of 'semaphore' I've seen...ever!

Re: the clothes she wore

Posted: Sun May 17, 2020 5:33 am
by Dave
Thanks for all the generous replies and comments.
Dave

Re: the clothes she wore

Posted: Sat May 23, 2020 8:57 pm
by Colm Roe
Hi murmac,
This tread is for poets who are looking for serious critiques. I read Dave's comment on your poem, and consider it to be honest and respectful. It might not have been what you'd have liked to read; but that's what we do here. I have differences of opinions with Dave, some, on reflection, I agree with...others I don't. But we're here to learn, and listen to what our readers think about our poems. Please accept Dave's comments (good or bad) with courtesy. Critiques (good or bad) take time, they should be considered or ignored, but always respected.
Comments like 'please stop your negative poetry' is unacceptable on this site.
Please PM me if you'd like to discuss any of the above.

Posted: Sat May 23, 2020 9:52 pm
by murmac
.

Re: the clothes she wore

Posted: Sun May 24, 2020 3:32 am
by Dave
Hey all
Well I seem to have missed a shitstorm yesterday. What a pity. I have no objections to a bit of passion. Just so it is clear, I have written a PM (friendly and positive I hope) to Murmac. I won't go into it here but the gist is: I am happy he is writing on this site; I appreciate the fact that his poetry is different; I think there are things he could do better; he is free to ignore the comments but I think it helps us all if we try out what people suggest and lastly, I will try and frame my ideas as more direct suggests rather than as critique. Thanks to Colm and Indar for support of us both and more importantly poetry and this site. :D
Have a great Sunday. Life is short and precious

Re: the clothes she wore

Posted: Sun May 24, 2020 7:26 pm
by Colm Roe
Thanks for your reply Dave, for contacting murmac, and for murmac's subsequent understanding :)
Not sure if that sentence was grammatically correct :?
Anywho, back to work guys...more poems please :)