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in a Japanese school

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Dave
Posts: 1991
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

in a Japanese school

Post by Dave » Wed Oct 07, 2020 11:02 am

in through out and out through in
a seven year old runs and runs                                                                                                               on the open roof, a tramway
to nowhere but his own imagination
he weaves paths among trees
gathers words and numbers
chemical formula and v=rw
while his friends clamber
across abysses, gather risk
out on a limb where apples grow.

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Colm Roe
Posts: 2697
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:45 am

Re: in a Japanese school

Post by Colm Roe » Wed Oct 07, 2020 8:07 pm

I saw something recently about Japanese schools having their breaks on roofs instead of playgrounds
because of Covid. There didn't appear to be any safety barriers :shock:
Interesting poem Dave.

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Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 3179
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm

Re: in a Japanese school

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Thu Oct 22, 2020 4:22 pm

Well written.

It amazes me how everything is changed, especially the unanticipated things. This poem evidences a good eye for these things.

Consider deleting "out" from the last line.

T

indar
Posts: 2908
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

Re: in a Japanese school

Post by indar » Sun Nov 15, 2020 10:00 am

I googled r=vw and found an explanation that it represents circular motion. Beyond that my attention deficit disorder when it comes to mathematics kicked in but I suspect complete understanding is unnecessary. What I do get from my reading of this wonderful write is a study of human spirit evidenced in the ability of these children to find themselves in a whole expanded world of fun, discovery and risk circling on a rooftop. 

What a valuable ability it is in these times. What a good thing if, until the pandemic subsides, we could turn to the ability to find such a world in our garden, workshop, home culinary adventures etc.

Tim J Brennan

Re: in a Japanese school

Post by Tim J Brennan » Sun Nov 15, 2020 1:12 pm

I taught on the second floor of an older building for many years. It opened out onto a flat roof and immediately after the Columbine shooting (and many more after) I "fixed" the only window so we could exit out onto the roof in case of an intruder in the building. Even kept a rope ladder out there so we could get down.
'
Your poem reminded me of those days. Unfortunately.

Dave
Posts: 1991
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

Re: in a Japanese school

Post by Dave » Sun Nov 15, 2020 1:45 pm

Indeed unfortunate given the happy nature of the school life in the poem. A sad reflection of the difference perhaps in life in the USa and in Japan.

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