Memory Lane

[indar]

I drove to the old neighborhood,
parked by the house,
the Chinese elm was gone,
strangers' curtains hung in the windows.

There I was at fifteen
drifting in the yard
wearing a white sailor blouse
and that red skirt.

I cranked open my car window
and said out loud:
I promise you
I will make the rest of your life
worth
what you are about to go through.





 

[Gyppo]

That made my cynical old eyes prickle a bit, especially when read in the same sitting as your 'Cottonwood' poem.

Two offerings which simply bypass the critical facilities and resonate at an inner level.

Talking to fate/history seems to be a human trait.  Sometimes with defiance and sometimes just as a wry acknowledgement.

Enjoyed.

Gyppo

[Qwerty]

Good title and a very evocative way to present yesterday, today and tomorrow! Nice!

[Matty11]

Hi Linda

I like the specifics in this, after all that is what anchors memories and keys us into the past. Of course, change happens and life moves on, but there's always that niggle to revisit.

I drove to the old neighbourhood,...distance from
parked by the house,...is this near or outside?
the Chinese elm was gone,.....an expectation that at least the elm would persist!
strangers' curtains hung in the windows...the inside shutting out the outside

There I was at fifteen....fixes the age of the memory
drifting in the yard...a carefree feel
wearing a white sailor blouse
and that red skirt......white/red...innocence/puberty

I cranked open my car window...specific car? Love cranked for age, harsh sound
and said out loud:
I promise you
I will make the rest of your life
worth
what you are about to go through.

As if communicating with the past, knowing the future realities, but also struck an ominous note: the voice of experience, knowing the loss of innocence.

Thank you for sharing. Any elements of the poem you feel the need to tweak?

best

Phil

The master of the time poem, Eliot:

http://www.davidgorman.com/4quartets/1-norton.htm

[indar]

On the one hand I wanted to wait a bit to respond to your comments so that a bunch of my posts weren't clumped up at the top. On the other hand I don't want to wait too long and lose track of this first and foremost because the link to the Eliot poem is "timely" given our recent discussions on the nature of time. 

Reading poets such as Eliot, however, make me want to just break my glasses and move on to the visual arts where I feel more competent.

Thank you for your thoughtful comments. In answer to your question:

Thank you for sharing. Any elements of the poem you feel the need to tweak?

Yes, always.
 

[indar]

That made my cynical old eyes prickle a bit, especially when read in the same sitting as your 'Cottonwood' poem.

Two offerings which simply bypass the critical facilities and resonate at an inner level.

Thank you Gyppo,

Although the two poems represent different "eras" of my life and two different kinds of experiences, both writes are in a certain genre, that is those introspective moments when one looks back to acknowledge all of the negative events, traumas and less-than wonderful moments that have played as much a part of who one has become as well as the positives.

As a matter of fact I might go as far as to say that only against these events that require fortitude do the positives make as much impact.

Thank you for your kind and insightful response.

[Matty11]

Reading poets such as Eliot, however, make me want to just break my glasses and move on to the visual arts

 

 

[Dave]

A short simple and clear piece of writing. There are may be one or two words to lose like cranking open the car window - car is not strictly necessary but such a minor issue. I personally don't like the title since it is a bit twee and a cliche and anyway where is this memory lane everyone talks about ? It does not really fit with the tone of the poem, which is ambivilent. 
Dave
 

[indar]

I personally don't like the title since it is a bit twee and a cliche and anyway where is this memory lane everyone talks about ? It does not really fit with the tone of the poem, which is ambivilent. 

Where indeed. Everyone DOES talk about it as if all memory is nostalgia and yearning for the days of yore. That was kind of my point---to point out it's not necessarily so. But I admit I have dithered about that title as I realize it might be off-putting to a reader.

I added the car window as I had mentioned curtains in the house windows and wanted to be clear despite cranked: some house windows do crank open.

Thank you for your comments dave, I have always found them valuable and will think about the title.