Discovery (children's poem)

[TrevorConway]

They say Columbus discovered America,

but people were already there.

They wore feathers and fired arrows.

Some of them shaved their hair.

 

When they saw Columbus coming,

they must’ve said to each other,

“Who is this strange man

that we have just discovered?”

[Matty11]

Hi Trev,
I wonder, to get the kids thinking and open up discussion, cut S1 and let S2 be the poem?

Phil

[TrevorConway]

Hmm, Phil. That does sound interesting, but then I wnder if some readers might be aware of who Columbus is, and hence they'd need the "scene setting" of the first verse. What do you think?

Thanks for your input.

Trev

[Matty11]

Hi Trev,
Some will, some won't, know the context. Always the case. I thought, for older children, some trust of knowledge. The poem opening a discussion on identity as well as historical perspectives.

Phil

[TrevorConway]

Thanks for the follow-up, Phil. Appreciate it.

Trev

[Dave]

I would leave in the first two lines because they set up the second stanza. Since some will know about Columbus and some not it will confirm to those that know that they know and help those that don't.
I would drop the next two lines since they are cliché and pretty irrelevant unless you want to say what Columbus was wearing. It seems to reinforce a certain primitiveness in the indigenous people.

I would also drop strange as it is kind of leading/misleading: strange in what way? Besides, the lines have more directness and power without. All IMO of course.
Dave
 

[TrevorConway]

Hi Dave,

Thanks for those points. I mentioned the feathers, etc. to make sure a child reader would know I as talking about Native Americans rather than some other people/Europeans who happened to have gotten there first. And I hoped simply calling them "people" before showing they were Native Americans would avoid the primitive cliche (I don't consider the wearing of feathers, etc. primitive, just culture), but maybe I need to look at the connotations again.

Thanks for your help.

Trev 

[Matty11]

I wondered about L3 and L4. What denotes difference? Clothing, weapons, skin colour, language...how difference defines 'discovery'. It would be another discussion point.

Phil

[Mark]

What is the age group of the intended readership? Children is a broad category. Having said that, the piece incorporates some end-line rhyme which is good in terms of children and poetry. The piece provokes because it reverses the Eurocentric POV and encourages multiple interpretation of this historical event.
Can regular arrows be said to be fired? Is that not the province of firearms? 
Fun fact: The first sighting of land by the Columbus expedition is said to have been by a Italian sailor, on watch up a mast, with the name of Amerigo Vespucci.    

[TrevorConway]

Hi Mark,

Around age 8-9, when I imagine children are fascinated by major historical facts. I must look up whether non-firearms can be "fired", but we use "fire" even for "throw" here in Ireland, so maybe it's okay. Thanks for your observations.

Trev