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Offline (children's poem)

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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TrevorConway
Posts: 210
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:30 pm
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Offline (children's poem)

Post by TrevorConway » Tue Dec 21, 2021 2:15 am

I am one of those unfortunate people
born before the Internet.
I remember life before it.
Oh God, it was tough.
Paper maps.
Bags of CDs.
We’d be searching for info in books!
 
Everything was slower,
always waiting;
we’d speak to people on phones.
I kind of miss their voices, you know,
telling me they’d be there soon,
’cause now, I sometimes feel alone.
 
I’m not quite sure how we lived before.
Badly, I suppose,
as if the whole world was deprived,
but we made do with what we had.
Online, offline, wanting or having,
a good attitude and a little love
were all we needed to survive.

Matty11
Posts: 1701
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: Offline (children's poem)

Post by Matty11 » Wed Dec 22, 2021 12:07 am

Hi Trev,
The plain speaking ticks a box for communication. Perhaps, for entertainment value, you could embellish. The enforced silence of libraries, reading/adding
scribbles in the margins, being fined for late returns...battling ordnance maps in wind and rain, all the wonderful symbols...vinyl or tapes rather than CDs?

Anyway some detail to colour?

cheers

Phil

TrevorConway
Posts: 210
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:30 pm
Contact:

Re: Offline (children's poem)

Post by TrevorConway » Thu Dec 23, 2021 12:34 pm

Hi Phil,

Thanks for the feedback. Some good ideas there that I'll definitely look into incorporating if I can.

Cheers!

Trev

TrevorConway
Posts: 210
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:30 pm
Contact:

Re: Offline (children's poem)

Post by TrevorConway » Thu Dec 23, 2021 12:35 pm

Hi Phil,

Thanks for the feedback. Some good ideas there that I'll definitely look into incorporating if I can.

Cheers!

Trev

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