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Hi, Strangers. Long time no write.

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Gyppo
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Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2018 3:28 pm
Location: UK

Hi, Strangers. Long time no write.

Post by Gyppo » Wed Dec 29, 2021 5:53 pm

No 'Narnia' in his wardrobe

Two four foot tall speaker cabinets,
made of vibration killing one inch timber.
with a true woodworker's skill.
Matt-blacked, eighteen inch bass,
and a couple of smaller ones too, 
framing 'the  record deck'.

Total overkill in a 10 x 12 room.

Walls and ceiling lined with tiles,
three deep, thick polystyrene foam.
The ceiling an alternating checkerboard 
of matt black and deep purple.

The wall hand-brushed matt black,
 the door and frame likewise,
with a dull black handle,
Almost impossible to see 
in the feeble glow
of a single red bulb.

Sabbath, Floyd, and Hendrix
ruled there, with guest stars
Deep Purple.

By some trick of acoustics
the 'perfect sound',
that combination of frequencies
which made your brain rock 
and your chest vibrate,
met in the wardrobe.

I can still see him,
wardrobe doors flung open,
braced against the top shelf.
Head banging like a demon, 
to the relentless beat
of Purple's 'Fireball."

Gyppo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q88koeaqrEg
I've been writing ever since I realised I could.  Storytelling since I started talking.  Poetry however comes and goes  ;-)

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Colm Roe
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Re: Hi, Strangers. Long time no write.

Post by Colm Roe » Wed Dec 29, 2021 7:38 pm

Nice write Gyppo. Maybe it's just me, but I would have liked to get some more info on the N. 

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Gyppo
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Location: UK

Re: Hi, Strangers. Long time no write.

Post by Gyppo » Thu Dec 30, 2021 8:26 am

Colm, the narrator is very much 'just the observer' on this one.

Gyppo
I've been writing ever since I realised I could.  Storytelling since I started talking.  Poetry however comes and goes  ;-)

indar
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

Re: Hi, Strangers. Long time no write.

Post by indar » Thu Dec 30, 2021 10:04 am

Hi Gyppo, I am indeed a stranger trying to get back to TTB gracefully.

I once turned the volume up to get that vibration in my chest (and that's exactly how I described it). Now I need the volume turned up that loud to hear it.

I liked the description of a room devoted to a passion. 

Matty11
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: Hi, Strangers. Long time no write.

Post by Matty11 » Thu Dec 30, 2021 10:38 pm

Great fun Gyppo. Totally believeable (unlike Narnia).

Phil

Dave
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Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

Re: Hi, Strangers. Long time no write.

Post by Dave » Tue Jan 04, 2022 5:03 am

Hey Gyppo welcome back
I enjoyed the narrative but would suggest reducing the number of references to black/matt black (sounds like a soul singer written like that  😂

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Mark
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Re: Hi, Strangers. Long time no write.

Post by Mark » Mon Jan 17, 2022 2:59 pm

My kind of music. Amazing what you can find on Spotify. As you slipped deep purple in as a description then how about sabbath black?   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qanF-91aJo




 

AlienFlower
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Re: Hi, Strangers. Long time no write.

Post by AlienFlower » Tue Jan 25, 2022 2:21 pm

Gyppo, this is a powerful description of that 10 x 12 room, so powerful that I imagine myself there, not to mention N. 

So maybe "I can still see him" is unnecessary? My instinct says, "Of course you can, you're still sitting there!" Also, that "I" is the first and only mention of N. We don't start wondering who N is until that "I" comes along.

Enjoyed,

Jackie

 

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