Finale

[Matty11]

These facts are true, some more, some less:
this room, my photographic myth,
the anchored grins, a dreamy mistress,
that apple pie none should resist;
this dying light, our comic theatre
that ghosts above the waves of ifs
and buts; and you, my lover, whisper
the script along haphazard cliffs.
We're left a muddle of ways ahead,
is it the ending we always dread?
The crumbling cliff, the grinning cloud,
mucking about, until we drown?
No matter. Shrug and hug. We host
the drifting boat, harbour our ghost.

[Eric Ashford]

This fine write twists both personal and universal threads together in a quilt of images which is most satisfying read.
The title leaves not doubt about the final curtain, but there is room also for whatever comes next. Well said.

[Matty11]

Cheers Eric. I'm snared by NAPO mania, but will try to catch up with your wonderful poems.

Phil

[AlienFlower]

Phil, I do like your sonnet, a mixture of a classic opening and classic worries with intimate, personal details. It feels so forgiving to read. 

Could line 12 lose a comma and gain a question mark?

Much enjoyed
Jackie

[Matty11]

Good call Jackie!

[TrevorConway]

Hi Phil,

Nice work. I felt the rhythm could've done with a change/shift on first reading, but it grew on me on second reading. I think a stanza break after "cliffs" would help.

These facts are true, some more, some less:
this room, my photographic myth,
the anchored grins, a dreamy mistress, [anchored grins is nicely surreal]
that apple pie none should resist; [Lovely opening 4 lines]
this dying light, our comic theatre [Maybe forget the "listing" approach from here? Adding a comma after "theatre" and removing "that" in the next line would achieve that]
that ghosts above the waves of ifs
and buts; and you, my lover, whisper
the script along haphazard cliffs.

We're left a muddle of ways ahead,
is it the ending we always dread? [Not crazy about this. Feels plain compared to the rest]
The crumbling cliff, the grinning cloud,
mucking about, until we drown?
No matter. Shrug and hug. We host
the drifting boat, harbour our ghost. [Last 2 lines were a bit disappointing, especially "shrug and hug" - just felt like you settled for the first ideas that came, whereas there was more care evident in the word choices earlier]

[Matty11]

Thanks Trev. Plenty to ponder on there.

all the best

Phil