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Then and Now

Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2023 7:47 am
by Gyppo
Limbering up for NAPO ;-)

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Then and Now

Then...

Eighteen and indestructible.
All the time in the world,
filled with limitless possibilities.

Now...

I know I'm not indestructible,
but it's a hard belief to shake.
I know time has its limits,
but the possibilities are still here.

Guess I'll never learn,
or perhaps I simply won't.

Gyppo

Re: Then and Now

Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2023 6:25 am
by Dave
Hey Gyppo

While I enjoyed the sentiments of this and am of course familiar with your prose style, I think this could cut much of the unnecessary filler, for example:

Eighteen and indestructible, 
all the time in the world,
infinite possibilities.

Re: Then and Now

Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2023 7:09 am
by Gyppo
Dave.  

Comment appreciated.   This is of course much more concise, and perfectly valid in its own right.  But it misses the point that the possibilities remain, even when youth and the feeling of indestructability have been tempered by age. 

Gyppo