What It's Like

[Dave]

Hi Tim
I enjoyed the idea of the poem overall but there is quite a lot of filler IMO. It seems to be there to give the poem some sense of naturalism and to allow it to grow into its insight. Yet, it for my taste, it directs the reader as to what he/she should think. It tells too much before the 'story' really gets going. S1 seem a distraction to me from what will follow. It is a tale in itself. Besides what is an imperfect person - it is so imprecise and actually the idea of a perfect person is so, well, Hollywood silly, I can't relate to it.
The second stanza is actually grammatic gobbildykook. It would make more sense and reveal its point much more smoothly and naturalistically if it sad:
You want to ask them
how it feels,
when they first felt alive and
whether some days are worse than others. - in which case they would work better than you
OR
What you’d like to know is:
"What's it likel? - then the reference to like later in the poem makes more sense in the context of the poem
When did you first know you were alive and
are some days worse than others?"

I was interested the show falls off BEFORE talking to the doctor

Not sure if I am being clear. Rationally though I fear such a day happening like all humans I guess.

Dave