It’s the seedling’s season, now.
You can trace with your fingers
The fractures in the frozen ground.
After many months, the pressure of unfurling beauty
Has split the ice underfoot —
A perseverance of will, of nature, and of time.
Roots and budding leaves extend outward in opposition,
The same calculus as two lips releasing a long-held yawn,
The expiration of all that was.
May we be like phlox, sage, aster, and yarrow,
Making a ritual of renewal,
And bow our heads not in humble reverence
To their beauty and grace,
But to breathe deeply Spring’s hope,
Eternal.
Welcome to The Tangled Branch! Join us.
Hope springs
- Tracy Mitchell
- Posts: 3468
- Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm
Re: Hope springs
Hi,
Great first line, and the phrase seedling's season is a gem.
And yes, may we be like phlox.
Consider letting the poem end with hope, by deleting "eternal" - in my view that goes without saying.
Thanks for posting.
T
Great first line, and the phrase seedling's season is a gem.
And yes, may we be like phlox.
Consider letting the poem end with hope, by deleting "eternal" - in my view that goes without saying.
Thanks for posting.
T
Re: Hope springs
You can trace with your fingers
The fractures in the frozen ground.
After many months, the pressure of unfurling beauty
Like fractures - maybe the alliteration is clustered.
The same calculus as two lips releasing a long-held yawn
Inventive use of calculus. You may want to revisit some of the -ing in the poem.
Making a ritual of renewal,
Like the notion!
Best
matty
Re: Hope springs
Oh I love this poem! Spring: time of renewal, emerging plants and flowers--it could be so trite but it is so not!
The fractures in the frozen ground.
After many months, the pressure of unfurling beauty
Has split the ice underfoot —
What an amazing phenomenon and what a great way to express it. It brings to mind all of the ways in which fragile plants exert the strength of life forms to succeed--vines that tear down buildings, tree seedlings that take root in and split rocks. Again--love it.
The fractures in the frozen ground.
After many months, the pressure of unfurling beauty
Has split the ice underfoot —
What an amazing phenomenon and what a great way to express it. It brings to mind all of the ways in which fragile plants exert the strength of life forms to succeed--vines that tear down buildings, tree seedlings that take root in and split rocks. Again--love it.
- avwhis6466
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2018 7:41 am
Re: Hope springs
Thank you, Tracy and Matty, for your comments and suggestions! I agree on all points.
And thanks, Indar, for your enthusiasm!!! I was worried that the subject could be seen as simplistic and overdone, so I’m glad it doesn’t read that way to you!
And thanks, Indar, for your enthusiasm!!! I was worried that the subject could be seen as simplistic and overdone, so I’m glad it doesn’t read that way to you!