Hope springs

[avwhis6466]

It’s the seedling’s season, now.
You can trace with your fingers
The fractures in the frozen ground.
After many months, the pressure of unfurling beauty
Has split the ice underfoot —
A perseverance of will, of nature, and of time.

Roots and budding leaves extend outward in opposition,
The same calculus as two lips releasing a long-held yawn,
The expiration of all that was.

May we be like phlox, sage, aster, and yarrow,
Making a ritual of renewal,
And bow our heads not in humble reverence
To their beauty and grace,
But to breathe deeply Spring’s hope,
Eternal.

[Tracy Mitchell]

Hi,

Great first line, and the phrase seedling's season is a gem.

And yes, may we be like phlox. 

Consider letting the poem end with hope, by deleting "eternal"  - in my view that goes without saying.

Thanks for posting.

T

[Matty11]

You can trace with your fingers
The fractures in the frozen ground.
After many months, the pressure of unfurling beauty

Like fractures - maybe the alliteration is clustered.


The same calculus as two lips releasing a long-held yawn

Inventive use of calculus. You may want to revisit some of the -ing in the poem.


Making a ritual of renewal,

Like the notion!

Best

matty

[indar]

Oh I love this poem! Spring: time of renewal, emerging plants and flowers--it could be so trite but it is so not!

The fractures in the frozen ground.
After many months, the pressure of unfurling beauty
Has split the ice underfoot —

What an amazing phenomenon and what a great way to express it. It brings to mind all of the ways in which fragile plants exert the strength of life forms to succeed--vines that tear down buildings, tree seedlings that take root in and split rocks. Again--love it.

[avwhis6466]

Thank you, Tracy and Matty, for your comments and suggestions! I agree on all points.

And thanks, Indar, for your enthusiasm!!! I was worried that the subject could be seen as simplistic and overdone, so I’m glad it doesn’t read that way to you!