Time together

[Colm Roe]

We talk less now,
repetitions, echo fainter
through canyons
that already hold our words
comfortable.
Memories, softly layered 
not carved with sharp chisels 
in hard stone.

The river removes us,
grain by grain, deeper
downstream.
Eventually to settle
together
close and silent.    
 

[indar]

Hi Colm,

So nice to have you back among us   and what a lovely re-entry poem. I hardly know what to say about it--everything is so right. The river removes and resettles us grain by grain downstream--reminds me of C.S. Lewis' musings about his relationship with his wife,Joy later in life. Welcome back.

[Colm Roe]

So glad you liked my rusty attempt L 
Holiday over, back on the beer, recaptured my muse...what could possibly go wrong 
 

[lshmael]

Hi Colm. I really like this poem. The canyon metaphor is very original (at least for me) and fits nicely. And then the meaning you give to the river and sand compliments it so well. Nice work.

[Colm Roe]

Thanks Ishmael 

[Mark]

A well-handled controlled delicacy of language construction, most pleasant to absorb. My only quibble would be the punctuation after the middle of S1 - perhaps a fullstop after comfortable and start a new sentence with Memories? The rhythm feels better to my ear, too.

[Colm Roe]

I agree Mark, thanks 

[Dave]

Lovely poem Colm. I would drop the commas altogether. Softly emotional without being maudlin

[Tracy Mitchell]

The stone walled canyons form a cradle for the soft-layers of words, events of their life together - how beautiful. And the river is slowly and inexorably moving the parts to a final joint resting place -  gentle yet focused.  Wonderful writing, Colm.  

T

[Colm Roe]

Thanks Tracy. I do like it...but my stone/canyon/layered/settled/death etc is a bit hackneyed at this stage 
I will try better next time.
Actually, I did, with my 'PERCULATION'   poem...no one died in that one  It was a celebration of life