Small things living longer in an extended Summer

[Colm Roe]

A drift of things peculate, 
plucked from fields and hedgerows 
to dance erratic

uplifted by unusual warmth
these fleeting fallers' reprieve
creates an ether.

I'm stuck in traffic
in a tree's shade,
ahead
in the headlight of a low Summer sun
they explode before me,
claim the air as theirs 

they seed it 

heat and stillness holds them fast
they will fall,
these lucky ones

but what a dance.

 








 
 

[indar]

A drift of things peculate, 
plucked from fields and hedgerows 
to dance erratic

Hi Colm,
Well, I had to google "peculate" and I'm wondering how that verb fits into your good poem:
 

1. appropriate (as property entrusted to one's care) fraudulently to one's own use

  Familiarity information: PECULATE used as a verb is very rare.

Maybe you meant "particulate" or maybe you meant the hot air peculates the particulate matter from the fields and bushes and there it hangs, caught in the headlight (the big one in the sky). Whatever your intention it makes for a fun read and paints a familiar picture to anyone (me) who enjoys high-summer drives through the countryside--or anyplace where chaff and seed glitters in the air.

What a dance---what a good read.

[Tracy Mitchell]

Love this, Colm.  Your imagery is fresh and pointed.  The reliance of the poem on the images is a sign of confident, mature poetics.  What a dance, indeed. 

T  

[Colm Roe]

Thanks Tracy, glad you liked my attempt to capture the scene. 
And thanks indar for (unwittingly) noticing the typo   'Percolate' was the word; I pronounce it with a 'u', and always assumed it was spelt that way 

[Dave]

Colm i like this once it gets out of S1. The word 'things' is weak in comparison to the rest of the precisely drawn poem and percolate an unnecessary distraction that doesn't add enough value to justify its inclusion IMO. Erratic instead of erratically also detracts and gains little as far as i can tell. Thereafter the poem comes alive beautifully

[Tracy Mitchell]

Here I am with the minority opinion again.  I first read 'peculate' as a typo - surely 'percolate' was intended, and the poem works well with that understanding.  Then I thought I better google peculate, and wow - did that open up the poem for me.  Of course it is the author's choice, but you know my vote. 

T

[Colm Roe]

Here I am with the minority opinion again.  I first read 'peculate' as a typo - surely 'percolate' was intended, and the poem works well with that understanding.  Then I thought I better google peculate, and wow - did that open up the poem for me.  Of course it is the author's choice, but you know my vote. 

T

So what you're saying Tracy is that my typos are better than my intended words...WOO HOO...in your face indar

[Tracy Mitchell]

I don’t know if typing works the same as reading aloud, but it may – you decide.  A rule I adopted for myself this summer with reading aloud – if I read a line aloud differently than I wrote, differently than appears on the paper or screen, then the oral version is the right one, not the written line.  For example, at a critique group meeting two days ago I read one of my poems, which contained the lines:  I will remember the fish of the sea lifted to the sun.  I actually read the lines as: I will remember the fish of the sea lifting to the sun.  That was obviously a major upgrade to the lines, which my subconscious generously provided me.  The lesson I take is that we need to listen to our inner selves, who only want to help.  Rightly or wrongly, I apply this to peculate/percolate.

[indar]

.in your face indar

[Matty11]

Hi CR

I like the contrast: the stuck in traffic location allowing time to observe the smaller things in movement (their drifting freedom).

 A drift of things pecolate, 
plucked from fields and hedgerows,
their erratic dance 

May be an option to avoid the inversion?

best

matty