Dust

[lshmael]

We can play when were grown
the game the world made
the one that turns a desert into field -
I could call my love sovereign
the precept of flowers -
but I know I’ve held that before
like a child making castles
with sand

[Mark]

Has a kind of rough elegance going on in the wording but I can't really string together the import or sense of the piece.

Liked this section...

I could call my love sovereign
the precept of flowers -

 
 

[Colm Roe]

Hi Ishmael,

We can play when were grown...........we're, not 'were'
the game the world made
the one that turns a desert into field -
I could call my love sovereign
the precept of flowers -
but I know I’ve held that before
like a child making castles
with sand

This is actually a rather nice poem about being in love. If it was mine I'd do it something like this.

We can play, even when we're grown,
it's the oldest game, one
that turns desert to field.

I could call my love sovereign
the precept of flowers.

But rules break, petals wilt, and
no matter how old I am
I'm still a child
making castles 
with sand.

I enjoyed the read Ishmael