Union Cafe

[Colm Roe]

Our family gathered for Sunday lunch
in a new restaurant. 
The menus arrived...brunch?
An unexpected restriction;
but we all found compromise
and left quite satisfied
a few hours later.

Between courses, and
from out of left field
my father casually hit us with 
'I read an article yesterday,
and I think I have dementia!'

I was reminded of my wife's father (Austin)
dying in hospital, unaware (we thought).
All the time our words spoke only of a discharge.

Three months later
he left in a box, all of us
chilled by conversations lost;
he'd played along for our sake.

We've known for years about my dad.

He received the usual denials from the others.
I leaned close and whispered
'Before it happens big time, walk into the kitchen, 
look at Mum and say
'Who the fuck are you? Get out of my house'
He laughed so loud, 
the way Austin would have.


 
 
 

[Dave]

By turns curious and then funny. I am not sure why all the details in s1 are there except maybe to reinforce the certainty of knowing not found in dementia. I personally wouls have enjoyed the poem without s1 and its odd wording and structure.
The pay off at the end is good but along the way there are ,for me at least, strange lines that are hard to fit in the narrative such as three months of waste, which i guess means waste of time but suggests they put 3 months of poo in the box. A curio Colm.

[Wren Tuatha]

I also think the ending is strong. I like the mix of humor and concern. I have a personal bias that when I read a very narrative poem, I think it should just be a story or blog post, or that it's a great first draft for getting thoughts and images out before a total rewrite. I know it's just my personal bias, and that many would disagree. 

This is a great topic, with much to describe on the two sides of the veil, the family who remembers all the joys and hurts, and the loved one with dementia who returns to a kind of (undeserved?) innocence. 

Thanks for posting this!

[Colm Roe]

By turns curious and then funny. I am not sure why all the details in s1 are there except maybe to reinforce the certainty of knowing not found in dementia. I personally wouls have enjoyed the poem without s1 and its odd wording and structure.
The pay off at the end is good but along the way there are ,for me at least, strange lines that are hard to fit in the narrative such as three months of waste, which i guess means waste of time but suggests they put 3 months of poo in the box. A curio Colm.

I thought S1 sets up the poem. It's a metaphor for the family being 'served' with the dementia diagnosis, and how they have to accept the cards they're dealt, and links with the last S.
I was uncomfortable with 'waste', but had to get the poem down before I lost the stream of thought. I've edited that, and elsewhere. Hope it reads better.
Thanks D.
 

[Colm Roe]

I also think the ending is strong. I like the mix of humor and concern. I have a personal bias that when I read a very narrative poem, I think it should just be a story or blog post, or that it's a great first draft for getting thoughts and images out before a total rewrite. I know it's just my personal bias, and that many would disagree. 

This is a great topic, with much to describe on the two sides of the veil, the family who remembers all the joys and hurts, and the loved one with dementia who returns to a kind of (undeserved?) innocence. 

Thanks for posting this!

Thanks Wren,
Very much a first draft . It happened yesterday, so I had to 'get it down'. (Very astute)
I don't do narratives too often, but when I'm gifted with something real like this I'm compelled.
 

[Dave]

Yes its better. Less drama. While i get the intention behins S1 it still creaks into action like thevfirst ten minutes of a costume drama - i exaggerate - the explanation of new restaurant, the restriction, compromise, satisfaction and hours later. The details make ask why do i need to know since the restaurant is clearly only the setting not the story. Maybe it needs to be that way, i dont know. The story is compelling enough

[Mark]

An interesting enough narrative. Poetically, it seems to rely a lot on white space.

[Colm Roe]

Tough crowd tonight.
As always, I listen and appreciate your comments. The final edits (off screen) happen when I'm faced with the prospect of reciting them to an audience. 

[indar]

Hi Colm,

Perhaps not just death here but another end-of-life issue that is to me more frightening. The beginning as a set-up has lost some opportunities to present the issue IMO. What did the family expect? Was it noon and what do people in Ireland usually expect to order for lunch. When life throws us a curve how well do we cope. The N's family all compromises by choosing unfamiliar items? (I had thought to order goulash but tried eggs Benedict instead). 

I don't think the jump-ahead in time to tell the reader everyone left satisfied works as well as some approving conversation at the table during which the N's father interrupts to make his announcement. 

And now the real curve is thrown which recalls other such situations that must be accommodated, dealt with, compromised over. We are left to wonder if the lessons of past dealings have been learned. I the reader assume from the beginning of this piece that this family will find its way.

Nice poem about a subject that many face. And will they have learned  

[indar]

Oh and  BTW the name of the restaurant did not escape me---family unity indeed.