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Losing

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lisaeagle65
Posts: 49
Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2019 11:00 pm

Losing

Post by lisaeagle65 » Mon Apr 29, 2019 8:46 pm

LOSING

The sculptress comes in the night
works in white and lays herself
over sagebrush, trees and rocks.

I learn again that she is master
of design and beauty.
I look back at my tracks
see the blemish left
in the softness.

 stop at a baby tree
and study the branches
each with an equal amount
of trickled snow.
My finger flicks a tiny limb
into a bare imbalance.

I stand for a moment
feel the warming sun on my hair,
listen to a bird I cannot see
wonder what he is saying.
Crying perhaps for a kingdom
pushed towards extinction.
Warning that our instincts are dying,
that our culture will disappear
like the snow 
 I just flicked away.

He is a meadowlark
his song has not changed
in my fifty four short years.
I know he'll not trade wisdom
for an easier way.

I walk on
leaving Nike tracks...

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Gyppo
Posts: 1338
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2018 3:28 pm
Location: UK

Re: Losing

Post by Gyppo » Tue Apr 30, 2019 2:44 pm

The snow as sculptress (active) rather than the cliched blanket (deadening.)

Quietly evocative, painting a clear picture with words.

Modern Nike footprints in timeless but transient snow.  A lovely juxtaposition.  The words will linger long after both have gone.

Gyppo
I've been writing ever since I realised I could.  Storytelling since I started talking.  Poetry however comes and goes  ;-)

DocCon
Posts: 817
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2019 12:30 pm
Location: the edge of the last ripple
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Re: Losing

Post by DocCon » Wed May 01, 2019 9:20 am

A resonant and beautiful piece... A nice juxtaposition of the Nike sneakers with the deep adaption theme, the disapearance of our civilization with the 'lost kingdom' of the birds -- gorgeous.

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Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 3179
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm

Re: Losing

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Fri May 03, 2019 9:49 am

Gorgeous writing, Lisa.  I wish I had seen this sooner.  I will be back to it over and over, I think.

T

lisaeagle65
Posts: 49
Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2019 11:00 pm

Re: Losing

Post by lisaeagle65 » Sun May 05, 2019 10:31 pm

Thank you Gyppo and DonCon for your kind comments.

Tracy, we miss you at the tower!!!

ajduclos
Posts: 1746
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2019 1:35 pm

Re: Losing

Post by ajduclos » Mon May 06, 2019 6:12 am

My lord, Lisa.  Such quietly powerful words, speaks volumes, so wonderfully painted.  Beautiful and evocative.  Like Tracy, I will be back to read and wonder over this writing. 
Aj 
 

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Deb
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Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2018 10:10 am
Location: Southern California USA
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Re: Losing

Post by Deb » Thu Aug 01, 2019 8:43 pm

Beautiful Poem, Lisa. I love the thought of snow as a sculptress. She is, indeed. As are you with this poem.



~Deb

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