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Contemplating a New Year's Resolution
Contemplating a New Year's Resolution
Poem deleted
Last edited by Tim J Brennan on Fri Jan 29, 2021 12:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Contemplating a New Year's Resolution
Tim J Brennan wrote: ↑Fri Nov 20, 2020 7:58 pmA woman peals apples, - peels?
setting them so as not to bruise,
into her mother’s wooden bowl—
one is heart-shaped, juice drops
like temperature before a rain. - the kind of phrase that doesn't really make sense but is lovely anyway
Near her, a pitcher of ice - I'd suggest ice-water, on the same line
water sweats clear beads
alongside table salt,
ghosts of missing links - I don't really understand these last 2 lines
within its whiteness.
Outside her window, ice - again I think ice crystals is better on the same line
crystals grow like tiny lenses,
even as earth’s orbit promises
resurrection and coverage - interesting choice, coverage, maybe "coverage of"?
for a past year's sins.
Re: Contemplating a New Year's Resolution
I agree on Penguin's comments. The drops image is very sensual but odd and does not quite add up. Still the asethetics of the line make it.
Dave
Dave
Re: Contemplating a New Year's Resolution
Also wanted to say that the poem rewards repeated reading.
Dave
Dave
Re: Contemplating a New Year's Resolution
Thank you, Dave. I have heard that great minds think alike.
I like your interpretation of "sensual"....amazes me where folks go w/stuff sometimes.
Thanks for always contributing something. Not many do here. Too bad, really.