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Frank Goes to Heaven
Frank Goes to Heaven
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Last edited by Tim J Brennan on Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:05 am, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
I like Frank's exit line and the dust. Is there a reason for capitalizing 'small'?
What is the reason for the day's stale sweetness? On rereading, I took it that the subway or station platform was his experience of 'going into the light' and as such it's an original representation but if so, why would it be a stale experience?
I like the surrealistic ans jaded tone of the poem, it builds well to and then ratchets up, after 'stale sweetness'. which may be why that phrase sticks out there for me.
What is the reason for the day's stale sweetness? On rereading, I took it that the subway or station platform was his experience of 'going into the light' and as such it's an original representation but if so, why would it be a stale experience?
I like the surrealistic ans jaded tone of the poem, it builds well to and then ratchets up, after 'stale sweetness'. which may be why that phrase sticks out there for me.
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
Mark wrote: ↑Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:07 pmI like Frank's exit line and the dust. Is there a reason for capitalizing 'small'?
What is the reason for the day's stale sweetness? On rereading, I took it that the subway or station platform was his experience of 'going into the light' and as such it's an original representation but if so, why would it be a stale experience?
I like the surrealistic ans jaded tone of the poem, it builds well to and then ratchets up, after 'stale sweetness'. which may be why that phrase sticks out there for me.
Thanks, Mark. I like your third line...you pretty much answered yourself on the reread. A lot of times (sometimes even a day later), I might come back to a poem. That you made the effort to reread makes me glad.
As far as the "staleness" of Frank's experience, well, life might seem a bit stale (maybe another way to say "bitter sweet?) when one realizes you're about to take off w/God as your driver. I would think so, anyway.
Thanks for the thoughts.
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
On the whole enjoyed this. A fun piece. Question: chairs burning or Frank?
My only quibble is: I am getting it tonight, baby.
This is tonally different and ok as a Brit - not your fault I know - baby jars. But who cares? Easy read
My only quibble is: I am getting it tonight, baby.
This is tonally different and ok as a Brit - not your fault I know - baby jars. But who cares? Easy read
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
Glad you enjoyed on the whole, Dave. As per usual, have no clue to what "baby jars" refers.
But who cares?
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
It is unimportant. The word jars means it stands out and grates somewhat. I always found 'baby' a weird word - doesn't mean you need to change anything. It is the kind of word that an American can make sound natural and sounds absolutely stupid when a British person uses it, in my experience.
Dave
Dave
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
Dave wrote: ↑Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:38 amIt is unimportant. The word jars means it stands out and grates somewhat. I always found 'baby' a weird word - doesn't mean you need to change anything. It is the kind of word that an American can make sound natural and sounds absolutely stupid when a British person uses it, in my experience.
Dave
...well, I guess you should stay away from using the word then. I grew up on late '60's / 70's music & television/movies...
who loves ya', baby?
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
That's my point - the poem's construction lent me the impression the stale sweetness is associated with God's road trip but yeah, stale sweetness is a good descriptor for a life that's over.Tim J Brennan wrote: ↑Tue Dec 04, 2018 3:21 pmMark wrote: ↑Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:07 pmI like Frank's exit line and the dust. Is there a reason for capitalizing 'small'?
What is the reason for the day's stale sweetness? On rereading, I took it that the subway or station platform was his experience of 'going into the light' and as such it's an original representation but if so, why would it be a stale experience?
I like the surrealistic ans jaded tone of the poem, it builds well to and then ratchets up, after 'stale sweetness'. which may be why that phrase sticks out there for me.
Thanks, Mark. I like your third line...you pretty much answered yourself on the reread. A lot of times (sometimes even a day later), I might come back to a poem. That you made the effort to reread makes me glad.
As far as the "staleness" of Frank's experience, well, life might seem a bit stale (maybe another way to say "bitter sweet?) when one realizes you're about to take off w/God as your driver. I would think so, anyway.
Thanks for the thoughts.
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
There is a book titled The Poets Companion that is quite good. In it the authors suggest many great prompts. One, if I remember correctly is about someone's arrival in heaven. I wrote a response to it and I'm going to post it as soon as I can find it. I very much like these (slightly irreverent) type imaginings. (I'm of an age, however, that causes me a knee-jerk "ick" reaction to an F bomb)
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
indar wrote: ↑Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:55 pmThere is a book titled The Poets Companion that is quite good. In it the authors suggest many great prompts. One, if I remember correctly is about someone's arrival in heaven. I wrote a response to it and I'm going to post it as soon as I can find it. I very much like these (slightly irreverent) type imaginings. (I'm of an age, however, that causes me a knee-jerk "ick" reaction to an F bomb)
me, too. But Frank used to say it all the time so it fits for me.