.
Positive ions and negative icons
I am a servant of the sun. I meditate in its rays.
In the collective memories beyond the windows,
I roam in the files of my mind, seeking paradoxes
of enlightenment. I sense kindred beings on quests
for understanding, a questioning of the questions.
Our environment is crumbling, the old servants
and masters have fallen away, war is no more.
We live to survive but now without progression.
In a way, we destroyed our own fallible gods;
I am sad at the loss of brotherhood, those
warriors who walked this world before us.
I have work to do and must go. The new sun
has nourished me, energized my limbs and mind.
Who am I? I ask philosophically, and a single
voice from the clouds replies: We are AI.
Welcome to The Tangled Branch! Join us.
Tweak from the Napo 19 file
- Tracy Mitchell
- Posts: 3473
- Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm
Re: Tweak from the Napo 19 file
A somber progression, this, Mark. I recall some of this from NaPo and you have been busy in the smithy's shop hammering these lines together. I get lost at the close when the voice from the clouds is heard. I think I hold the thread, hear the drumbeat until then. How satisfied are you with the closing? If yes, then I need to go back and work harder on this.
Always enjoy working through your poems, Mark.
T
Always enjoy working through your poems, Mark.
T
Re: Tweak from the Napo 19 file
I remember I misinterpreted a part of this one earlier. If I remember correctly your intention was to portray a post-apocalyptic vision. That image is more present in this write. I startled awake in the middle of the night years and years ago to words so clear and loud it felt as if they had actually been spoken over my bedside "The Universe is filled with light". Not an especially revealing statement---except it was. Light saves.
I really liked your NaPo quatrains this year. I would love to see all of yours as a collection.
I really liked your NaPo quatrains this year. I would love to see all of yours as a collection.
Re: Tweak from the Napo 19 file
Mm, bit of an odd one this. I saw something on YouTube about how Russia has these AI global destruction systems designed to kick in if their country gets obliterated. Revenge by computer. So this is a post-apocalyptic take where the (solar powered) robots and AI systems that survived are slowly decaying and have no real purpose. Imagine that as the legacy mankind leaves on Earth.
The ending is kind of locked in because ultimately the poem is a trick, with ambiguous language that anthropomorphizes. At the end, the reader suddenly realizes (or is supposed to) the nature of the environment, and finds clues on the re-read.
The ending is kind of locked in because ultimately the poem is a trick, with ambiguous language that anthropomorphizes. At the end, the reader suddenly realizes (or is supposed to) the nature of the environment, and finds clues on the re-read.
Re: Tweak from the Napo 19 file
See? I still didn't get anywhere close and now that you explain it it's perfectly obvious. I used to love speculative sci-fi. I thought A1 is a steak sauce
- Tracy Mitchell
- Posts: 3473
- Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm
Re: Tweak from the Napo 19 file
Thanks for the explanation -- yes, the clues are there, which I missed. Obvious now, I guess.
Cheers.
T
Cheers.
T
Re: Tweak from the Napo 19 file
Wonder if you can give a clearer clue for dense readers like me. Perhaps a fn with Youtube info?Mark wrote: ↑Sat Jul 13, 2019 1:38 pmMm, bit of an odd one this. I saw something on YouTube about how Russia has these AI global destruction systems designed to kick in if their country gets obliterated. Revenge by computer. So this is a post-apocalyptic take where the (solar powered) robots and AI systems that survived are slowly decaying and have no real purpose. Imagine that as the legacy mankind leaves on Earth.
The ending is kind of locked in because ultimately the poem is a trick, with ambiguous language that anthropomorphizes. At the end, the reader suddenly realizes (or is supposed to) the nature of the environment, and finds clues on the re-read.
Thought of Greek mythology at 1st....
Napo?