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General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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lshmael
Posts: 36
Joined: Sun May 06, 2018 1:27 am

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Post by lshmael » Sat Mar 09, 2019 10:29 am

There's no end
Like a dream of autumn
Where the birds
Join the trees

A feather at a time
My love
I remember the sky
You promised me

---

I tried to think of one, honest.

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HLemma
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Re: No title

Post by HLemma » Sat Mar 09, 2019 4:19 pm

Hi Ishmael. 

I'm not sure I get this, especially the first stanza. Isn't Autumn usually when birds leave?

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lshmael
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Re: No title

Post by lshmael » Sun Mar 10, 2019 3:46 am

Well in New Zealand, where I'm from, not many birds migrate. I didn't really think about the reader making that a large factor.

The image I'm guessing you're caught on is birds losing their feathers like a deciduous tree. It is deliberately ambiguous so it can be read with a few different meanings, but that's the general intent of the "image". It has nothing to do with migration.

If you think it's unreasonably difficult to get please tell me. Any critique is welcome as long as it's honest.

indar
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Re: No title

Post by indar » Sun Mar 10, 2019 5:38 pm

There's no end
Like a dream of autumn
Where the birds
Join the trees


A feather at a time

I read these lines as a take on the cyclical nature of trees and birds joined in the end of their time--the decay of their life cycle. "like a dream of autumn" new will replace old. Poignant against the juxtaposition of the next lines regarding love.

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