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Pick Six*

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 713
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:58 pm

Pick Six*

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sun Mar 17, 2019 4:17 pm

~



Pick Six*

again morning
boats sway

locust limbs form
an archway

branches wave toward
pinion jays

auburn hair in
disarray

love’s last cliche-
please stay

clouds encase an
open bay

so square away
the workday

don’t take on more
or over pay

salt away then
hit the hay.

Cart away
the protégée,

Hemingway, or
there will be

hell to pay

________________

* Yet cashew milk
says
no whey


~

Dave
Posts: 444
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:07 pm

Re: Pick Six*

Post by Dave » Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:25 pm

Puzzling title/s. The first six stanzas are Beautiful and relate to nature and the true joys of man in nature while the following stanzas are advice - I am getting advice to lessen work so that the joys of nature don't get lost. If work takes precedence, it would seem the source of poetry is lost too. I enjoyed this without necessarily Mastering all the meaning.

Dave
 

indar
Posts: 814
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: Pick Six*

Post by indar » Sun Mar 17, 2019 6:33 pm

To my read each couplet is a discreet thought but taken together I sense a call to moderation, balance and ordering of priorities in life.

Appreciate the beauty

hold close those you love

work effectively and to good purpose

stick to basics

honor the plain-spoken as in leaves of grass

drink almond milk?

A benefit of belonging to a forum such as ours is we become familiar with one another's writing styles and recognize when one among us is striking out into different territory. Your rhyming couplets are effective in this instance---almost like mnemonic devices--and make for a fun read as well. 

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Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 713
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:58 pm

Re: Pick Six*

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sun Mar 17, 2019 7:31 pm

Thank you Dave and Linda. I did not know how this would be received. As you note, it is experimental.

I am glad you get the sense of the separate but connectedness of the stanzas.

I suppose the title is too cryptic, but the intent was to make this a participatory poem. From the twelve offered stanzas, the reader may pick any six for their own poem. :D Conforming each of the stanzas to the same form was intended to smooth the matching of the various combinations, allowing for a variety of poems, some of which lighthearted, some instructive, some frivolous. The rhyme and meter were intended to impart a gentle sway in the reading regardless of which stanzas are selected.

I think it didn't hit its target, but was useful to write, and certainly fun in any event. :D

Cheers.

T

Dave
Posts: 444
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:07 pm

Re: Pick Six*

Post by Dave » Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:07 pm

Actually the pick  and mix idea did cross my mind and is genius. Lovely to  see e perimentaion and fun and even rhyme.

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