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Reality Show

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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indar
Posts: 933
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Reality Show

Post by indar » Sat May 11, 2019 10:04 pm

Reality Show

Mountains mourn
black tree bones
still standing 
at their feet.

Zombie roots
hold back landslides,
they do not yet know
they are dead. 

Day after day
a bright sun sky
smiles, unrelentingly,
the smile
of mental unbalance.

Frogs in thrall
never jumped, lulled
by warmth and now--
here's Johnny.

 

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Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 931
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:58 pm

Re: Reality Show

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Mon May 13, 2019 9:07 pm

Well done, Indar.  The image of the scorched tree trunks still standing is stark, strong. "They do not yet know they are dead".  By the fourth reading, how devastating S.2 & S.3 are finally sunk in.   This poem is an object lesson in the power of image over metaphor.  Of course, as allegory, we are the frogs.

After all of the back-slapping of NaPo, I was looking forward to getting back to some critique.  But alas!! No nits to pick with this gem.   :D

Thanks for posting.

T

indar
Posts: 933
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: Reality Show

Post by indar » Tue May 14, 2019 12:32 am

Thank you Tracy,

Yes, the back-slapping was fun wasn't it. I did expect a little grief over the last line in this one---it is a case of not knowing how to end the thing. But I will come up with something better eventually. Somehow I've discovered posting a flawed piece of writing puts on the pressure to make it better before it hangs out there for the world to see for too long :D :oops:

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Reality Show

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Tue May 14, 2019 1:11 am

Sorry Indar, I like the last line-- not just a reference to Johnny Carson, of course, but to Jack Nicholson's utterance of the line in The Shining.  

T

indar
Posts: 933
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: Reality Show

Post by indar » Tue May 14, 2019 1:34 am

Jack Nicholson's utterance of the line in The Shining.  

Yep--that's it in line with the demented smile.

indar
Posts: 933
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: Reality Show

Post by indar » Tue May 14, 2019 5:11 pm

Just heard about this on the news this morning. Bill Nye the TV science guy, usually as mild-mannered as Mr Rogers, said it much better than my poem:

www.ktvu.com/news/now-trending/the-plan ... ate-change


 

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Reality Show

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Tue May 14, 2019 7:47 pm

Bill Nye -- nice guy,
but Indar'll show'em
with the better poem. :)

Okay, I need to go find the crappy poem thread.  :roll: :roll:

 

indar
Posts: 933
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: Reality Show

Post by indar » Tue May 14, 2019 8:11 pm

I keep hoping that by some miracle the original CPT will rise again where we least expect it. Possibly my best effort was on that thread and I can't remember it. The last two lines:

I am forced to live a lie
laughing when I want to cry


Genius. Sparky responded: aye lass, aye, methinks there are many here who can relate.

:) :) :)

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