Welcome to The Tangled Branch!  Join us.

Striving for Perfection

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
Post Reply
indar
Posts: 1111
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Striving for Perfection

Post by indar » Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:02 pm

Occasionally I get a poem
published in one of those journals
that no one buys except
the contributors and no one
reads except the contributors' family
members, recipients of a gift 
copy and they only read that single
poem by their loved one and say
it's really nice
but what does it mean
and I wonder why I keep
writing but of course it's because
of the online writing forum peopled
by fellow poets with whom
I've shared poems for years 
and for whom I keep trying 
to come up with new topics and viewpoints
I haven't already expounded upon
at least ten times.

OK this is my first attempt to line break according to the article Phil posted which I am still trying to process

User avatar
Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 1103
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:58 pm

Re: Striving for Perfection

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:12 am

Nice writing exercise.   :)  I also like the sentiment.  But as one god-awful long run-on sentence, I don't know, maybe it works as a poem.  :o :o

And for me, sometimes it takes circling back for 10+ stabs at a topic before it starts to feel right.  

So glad to count myself as one of the fellow poets.

Cheers.

T

btw - super line breaks.  :mrgreen:

Matty11
Posts: 398
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:58 am

Re: Striving for Perfection

Post by Matty11 » Sat Jul 20, 2019 5:56 am

Occasionally I get a poem
published in one of those journals
that no one buys except
the contributors and no one reads.....stronger with a verb ending?
except the contributors' family
members, recipients of a gift copy
and they only read that single poem...in general, don't split adjective/noun (see article)
by their loved one and say
it's really nice
but what does it mean
and I wonder why I keep writing
but of course it's because
of the online writing forum
peopled by fellow poets
with whom I've shared poems
for years and for whom I keep trying 
to come up with new topics and viewpoints
I haven't already expounded upon
at least ten times.
Hi Linda, my understanding of that article, is that the writer should not snap a line. A line should be meaningful with enjambement extending that meaning. Therefore, for instance, the usual rule is not to separate adjective from noun at the break.

best

Phil

ps having work published is fun (and a validation from another reader...an editor!)

indar
Posts: 1111
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: Striving for Perfection

Post by indar » Sat Jul 20, 2019 3:21 pm

Oh gosh, I got that one wrong. Will reread the article. Thanks Phil.

poet-e
Posts: 84
Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2019 9:10 pm

Re: Striving for Perfection

Post by poet-e » Wed Sep 25, 2019 3:16 am

peopled??

Neat idea, self-deprecating... I haven't even gotten published in one of those journals, lol.

Love title; get it!

Post Reply