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TEN CHARACTER SKETCHES: (in Searching for Kadesh collection)

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poet-e
Posts: 80
Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2019 9:10 pm

TEN CHARACTER SKETCHES: (in Searching for Kadesh collection)

Post by poet-e » Thu Oct 03, 2019 6:50 pm

I. Beautiful

They say he wasn’t always like this. Once wealthy, he spent carelessly on women and “friends.”  They say he was handsome with the finest flowing light hair.  But that slowly stopped when his ailment started.  He dwindled his family inheritance on black magicians and healers, looking for a cure, he could never find.  In the process, he lost everything and everyone he had. That’s how they say he ended up here with us.  On rare days, I can see glimpses of his beauty and striking locks, beneath all his bittersweet bitterness.  


II.  The Intelligent Woman

They say she came from a family of moderate means.  Sickness caught her in infancy when she stopped listening to the birds and her family cooing.   Instead of investing in cattle for marriage, they taught her to read and write many languages–better than most men.  Perhaps they thought this would ensure her survival and let people see what they saw, that she wasn’t dumb.  But still, after her parents died, she still ended up here like the rest of us.  That’s what they say anyway.


III.  Fighter

They warn, don’t tick her off if you value your life.  Red firey locks.  Her major muscles upon muscles are stronger than most men.  Easily provoked but not easily subdued.  Glad she stays on our side, as long as she’s not mad at us.  They say she had her baby taken from her, deemed unfit in her condition.  I wonder if her strength came from being a mother or just from being a woman.  I bet it broke her when they ripped her baby away right after she gave birth.  I wonder if the father even knew to care; if they even let her hold the baby.


IV.  Cynic

They say he doesn’t believe in anything.  He says that there’s nothing worth believing in.  I wonder if that includes himself.  Young.  Would be tall if he stood, but always has to lie down and can’t move below his neck.  Has a sharper wit than any sword or arrow.  Average looking, borderline attractive, but his words make up for that.


V.  Reason

They say she can cut anyone down with a lash of her tongue, declaring herself the victor.  She thinks emotions are all invalid, refusing to talk to anyone she deems too emotional.   Emotions lack reason and logic; and thus, not worth her time.  Straight-no-nonsense-hair.  She seriously strives for pure logic. The only one of us who prioritizes her cleanliness and washing her clothes—her cream dress still creamy.


VI.  Curiosity

They say he stays in a constant state of awe, wondering about these and those things that ordinary people could care less about—the smallest bugs to the rolling clouds.  Although he lost his boyish looks, he still has some of his dark curls and his constant amazing awes and asking endless questions.  Always excited to learn something new, adding it to his vast wrinkled knowledge.


VII.  Happiness

They don’t know his back-story—nobody does.  He doesn’t even know where he’s from—otherwise, he would run back barefooted, unlike the rest of us.  All we know is what we see—a deep slanted scar across his forehead and more scars rolling like roaring rivers down his back, between his broad, gentle shoulders.  We see these scary scars when he dances clothesless, shamelessly—scaring the villagers and anyone passing by.  We can only guess where these scars came from—his family, an accident, a cruel master?  He could probably be the easiest one of us to pass living amongst villagers, when he has his clothes on, that is.  But all we do know for sure is one night, someone left him here.  He’s been here ever since, even though it’s been over 20 years—longer than any of us.  Although we call him Happiness, he isn’t always happy—he just brings happiness to us.



VIII.  Sadness

They say he came soon after Happiness did.  To this day, they’re inseparable.   Sadness may be small and meek with his peppery hair and beard, but is as sharp as any street merchant and as sly as any fox.  Happiness carries him on his shoulders but respects him like an older brother.  Sickly, Sadness was always the first of us to lay ill and the last of us to recover.  We presume this is a large part of why he was left here and are amazed he still is.


IX.  Laughter

They never know what he’s laughing at; he just laughs—in the middle of the night, in random moments, and in not so random moments breaking our awkward silences.  Some say he’s “mad,” with his bark brown hair whipping his face, flying with the wind.  I’d like to think he’s just remembering something from his lighter days, but he never shares what he is laughing at.  Sometimes it’s contagious; annoying; jarring.  His explosions almost always catch us by startled surprise.


X.  Kindness

They say he was born kind, although he was born without sight.  His parents hid him in a corner of their home; he didn’t leave there until their deaths.  He is average looking, yet all of the women here love his kindness, not-so-secretly admiring him as close as we can get.  And yet, he is equally just as kind to each of us—despite us wanting him to choose to see only one of us.  

 

poet-e
Posts: 80
Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2019 9:10 pm

Re: TEN CHARACTER SKETCHES: (in Searching for Kadesh collection)

Post by poet-e » Thu Oct 03, 2019 6:54 pm

These are scattered throughout my Searching for Kadesh collection.  I've compiled them all here; what works/doesn't?

Thanks!

Matty11
Posts: 385
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:58 am

Re: TEN CHARACTER SKETCHES: (in Searching for Kadesh collection)

Post by Matty11 » Fri Oct 11, 2019 2:17 pm

VII.  Happiness

They don’t know his back-story—nobody does.  He doesn’t even know where he’s from—otherwise, he would run back barefooted, unlike the rest of us.  All we know is what we see—a deep slanted scar across his forehead and more scars rolling like roaring rivers down his back, between his broad, gentle shoulders.  We see these scary scars when he dances clothesless, shamelessly—scaring the villagers and anyone passing by.  We can only guess where these scars came from—his family, an accident, a cruel master?  He could probably be the easiest one of us to pass living amongst villagers, when he has his clothes on, that is.  But all we do know for sure is one night, someone left him here.  He’s been here ever since, even though it’s been over 20 years—longer than any of us.  Although we call him Happiness, he isn’t always happy—he just brings happiness to us.
I like the irony, but the earlier comment 'scaring the villagers' contradicts the last sentence.
They say he stays in a constant state of awe, wondering about these and those things that ordinary people could not care less about—the smallest bugs to the rolling clouds.  Although he lost his boyish looks, he still has some of his dark curls and his constant amazing awes and asking endless questions.  Always excited to learn something new, adding it to his vast wrinkled knowledge.
I think you need not.
They never know what he’s laughing at; he just laughs—in the middle of the night, in random moments, and in not so random moments breaking our awkward silences.  Some say he’s “mad,” with his bark brown hair whipping his face, flying with the wind.  I’d like to think he’s just remembering something from his lighter days, but he never shares what he is laughing at.  Sometimes it’s contagious; annoying; jarring.  His explosions almost always catch us by startled surprise.
Probably better to keep it random otherwise it muddles the reader (this reader anyway).

hope that helps some

Phil

Dave
Posts: 571
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:07 pm

Re: TEN CHARACTER SKETCHES: (in Searching for Kadesh collection)

Post by Dave » Fri Oct 11, 2019 3:24 pm

Without any real context it is relatively impossible to comment on these. For example, "They say…" when compiled here appears a rather dull way to introduce the characters - after all who are they and what does it matter to them to talk about these characters. I realise they are out of context.

Then you ask 'What works and what doesn't?' Works in what what way, to do what? You mean are these logical and coherent descriptions of these personalities or personality types?

At the moment for me they are stories without the story. The story I imagine is some kind of fantasy but that may be way out.

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