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Old poet, Old poetry

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Tim J Brennan
Posts: 634
Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:59 pm

Old poet, Old poetry

Post by Tim J Brennan » Thu Mar 19, 2020 4:23 pm

like a promise

all you write is unknown
and will remain unknown
until you leave a verse

for some future reader
so that someone will know
somewhere down this road

a home hisses into the Chippewa
River and nothing lives
except broken lives speaking

of flowers

indar
Posts: 1218
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: Old poet, Old poetry

Post by indar » Thu Mar 19, 2020 4:32 pm

WOW

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Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 1286
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:58 pm

Re: Old poet, Old poetry

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Fri Mar 20, 2020 2:42 am

Really wonderful, Tim.
Bravo!

T

Dave
Posts: 650
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:07 pm

Re: Old poet, Old poetry

Post by Dave » Fri Mar 20, 2020 9:37 pm

Indeed though well written the first two stanzas are old poetry and an idea as old as... well old and from my point of view not very engaging - which is clearly me not the fault of the poem.
The second two stanzas are wonderful and IMO could easier and maybe even to better effect stand alone. The use if the word 'hisses' is sensational.

Dave

Tim J Brennan
Posts: 634
Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:59 pm

Re: Old poet, Old poetry

Post by Tim J Brennan » Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:19 pm

indar wrote:
Thu Mar 19, 2020 4:32 pm
WOW

Thank you, indar

Tim J Brennan
Posts: 634
Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:59 pm

Re: Old poet, Old poetry

Post by Tim J Brennan » Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:20 pm

Tracy Mitchell wrote:
Fri Mar 20, 2020 2:42 am
Really wonderful, Tim.
Bravo!

T

Thanks, Tracy. Keep hiking.

Tim J Brennan
Posts: 634
Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:59 pm

Re: Old poet, Old poetry

Post by Tim J Brennan » Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:20 pm

Dave wrote:
Fri Mar 20, 2020 9:37 pm
Indeed though well written the first two stanzas are old poetry and an idea as old as... well old and from my point of view not very engaging - which is clearly me not the fault of the poem.
The second two stanzas are wonderful and IMO could easier and maybe even to better effect stand alone. The use if the word 'hisses' is sensational.

Dave

Loveme a good hisses. Thanks, Dave.

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