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Yahtzee

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Deb
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Yahtzee

Post by Deb » Sat Mar 21, 2020 7:46 pm

Yahtzee 

Double Yahtzee on old scorecards 
memories of games with Granny and  Nanny
the way she always asked about her
Large Straight and Three of a Kind
and her fiendish mirth when she had four sixes and four fives 
her eyes held the telltale lines of laughter and bonus points in the upper tier. 

Always a good sport
I don’t remember the scores
the wins or loses
I remember the moments playing Yahtzee with old women who loved me   


and I miss it still

~Deb

In honor of my husband's Nanny and my Granny for World Poetry Day 2020

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Colm Roe
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Re: Yahtzee

Post by Colm Roe » Sun Mar 22, 2020 1:58 am

Nice memories of being wrapped up safely in unconditional love.
A really lovely poem Deb.

poet-e
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Re: Yahtzee

Post by poet-e » Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:34 am

Very sweet.

Didn't realize Nanny and Granny were 2 separate people.
Perhaps "In honor of my husband's Nanny and my Granny for World Poetry Day 2020" should be on top, below the title?

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Colm Roe
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Re: Yahtzee

Post by Colm Roe » Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:53 am

My family use Nanny for the dad's mother and Granny for the mum's mother. I don't know if that's a universal thing.
Yet we had two grandads! Am I living in a matriarchal society? I'll ask me mammy :lol:

indar
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Re: Yahtzee

Post by indar » Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:18 pm

I love this one Deb. Such a homey scene and intimate look at the joys of board games (so much better than video games). Your whole poem tells us that the N misses those moments, perhaps the last line could be left off but otherwise this read easily, wonderful lines, all the right words :)  

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Yahtzee

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:23 am

I agree this poem well presents such wonderful memories of good times with folks now gone. I also agree that the the last line could be profitably cut, as it is redundant.

I would also suggest considering whether in L.2 the phrase "memories of games" actually advances the poem. It tells the reader what is otherwise provided in the text.

It is something how memories can lock into our sense of who we are, where we come from. We hold them, I think, as some of the pure personal valuables of our lives. Nice to read about one of yours.

T

Dave
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Re: Yahtzee

Post by Dave » Tue Mar 24, 2020 9:53 am

A sweet and heartwarming poem for rough times. There are one or things that need tidying IMO. 
For expediency's sake, I will cut them form the poem as follows:

Double Yahtzee on old scorecards 
games with Granny and Nanny
the way Granny asked about her (she makes it unclear who asks since there are 2 )
Large Straight and Three of a Kind,
her fiendish mirth when she had four sixes and four fives, 
her telltale lines of laughter at bonus points in the upper tier. 

Always a good sport
I don’t recall the the wins or losses
I remember old women who loved me.  


I miss Yahtzee still

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