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Waiting

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Colm Roe
Posts: 1392
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 am

Re: Waiting

Post by Colm Roe » Wed May 20, 2020 1:01 am

Hi Linda,
I'm back in work now and have less time to engage here :(
If you had just said 'write a poem about waiting' I'd probably have shot one off straight away; but
they made it too complicated. I'm like a cat; I don't like complications :lol:

I love this, and much prefer the way your 2nd version ends...more restrained and positive.
I wonder if you hoped a Clint Eastwood character would step in and sort them out. But as you
say, kids do stupid things, and I suppose we should remember our own youth...but sometimes....

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Colm Roe
Posts: 1392
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Re: Waiting

Post by Colm Roe » Wed May 20, 2020 2:32 am

Waiting

So you're waiting for numbers to drop, for
less people to drop,
for dark ICUs to sit idle,
lights off.
Where cobwebs collect dust, and only hungry spiders die.
Only spiders!
'Only spiders' moves through the food chain.
Rodents know how our eight legged feel,
they wait for poisons and traps
disgust and often glee.
And on we go, bigger all the time.
Cattle! What a loathsome noun
some run free, eat grass....
Where do we stop
the 'Jude' waited, and
learned to count impossible numbers.
The waiting will continue.
I don't wait...maybe anticipate,
my number will, of course
be called.
And when it's up,
I'm pretty sure it'll be spectacular, only
by virtue of its ordinariness.
I won't be surprised.
My rotting corpse will fit right in,
will enjoy the absorption
the transfer to worms and roots.
They won't have to wait too long I hope,
just snip a few bits off,
those time-hardened ego scales, that
no matter how hard I tried,
I could never dislodge.
There's an amazing app that'll tell you how long you'll live.
You can then count and wait
to see if it was right.
:lol:

indar
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: Waiting

Post by indar » Wed May 20, 2020 2:47 pm

Seriously Colm!?! You just knocked that one out on the spur of the moment? I give up. :evil:

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Colm Roe
Posts: 1392
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 am

Re: Waiting

Post by Colm Roe » Wed May 20, 2020 3:35 pm

I have a maximum 2 hour window to write all my poems. If it took longer than that I'd give up :)

indar
Posts: 1717
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: Waiting

Post by indar » Thu May 21, 2020 7:29 pm

I'm going to delete this thread. Colm you'd better copy and paste yours to a separate thread---its too good to not have it here 

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Colm Roe
Posts: 1392
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 am

Re: Waiting

Post by Colm Roe » Fri May 22, 2020 2:15 am

I have now saved it Linda.
It's your decision...but it's a shame to delete stuff :(

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murmac
Posts: 192
Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:18 am
Location: Toronto, ON, Canada

Re: Waiting

Post by murmac » Mon May 25, 2020 1:17 pm

Colm Roe wrote:
Wed May 20, 2020 2:32 am
Waiting

So you're waiting for numbers to drop, for
less people to drop,
for dark ICUs to sit idle,
lights off.
Where cobwebs collect dust, and only hungry spiders die.
Only spiders!
'Only spiders' moves through the food chain.
Rodents know how our eight legged feel,
they wait for poisons and traps
disgust and often glee.
And on we go, bigger all the time.
Cattle! What a loathsome noun
some run free, eat grass....
Where do we stop
the 'Jude' waited, and
learned to count impossible numbers.
The waiting will continue.
I don't wait...maybe anticipate,
my number will, of course
be called.
And when it's up,
I'm pretty sure it'll be spectacular, only
by virtue of its ordinariness.
I won't be surprised.
My rotting corpse will fit right in,
will enjoy the absorption
the transfer to worms and roots.
They won't have to wait too long I hope,
just snip a few bits off,
those time-hardened ego scales, that
no matter how hard I tried,
I could never dislodge.
There's an amazing app that'll tell you how long you'll live.
You can then count and wait
to see if it was right.
:lol:
So this a poem in response to poem that was deleted? I like the title and the idea that waiting for something can be interesting. Valuable information.

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Colm Roe
Posts: 1392
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 am

Re: Waiting

Post by Colm Roe » Tue May 26, 2020 1:33 am

Hey mur,
Thanks for reading.
It's an ongoing theme for me, about the arrogance of man, that our lives are the only important ones. We treat all other lives so badly...animals are 'only', a small word, but when it seeps into our vocabulary we just shrug off any number of cruelties inflicted on them. After all they are 'only' animals...so it's ok :shock:

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murmac
Posts: 192
Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2020 1:18 am
Location: Toronto, ON, Canada

Re: Waiting

Post by murmac » Tue May 26, 2020 2:47 pm

That’s quite the perspective, considering the plethora of living organisms out there. We do tend to kill small insects without thinking much. Road Kill is always so sad. Sometimes wild or even domestic animals can be dangerous. Birds die accidentally by flying into clear windows, plus jets kill a lot of birds, which in turn can kill us. We kill each other by accidents. Can poetry kill by accident? Can one word affect the mind adversely?

We need men to do manly stuff. That used to be feats of strength, but nowadays we have so many bigger stronger machines.

The Male Ego.. always competing... We are the champions, my friends.

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Colm Roe
Posts: 1392
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 am

Re: Waiting

Post by Colm Roe » Fri May 29, 2020 2:10 am

The champions of doom!
Once you dismiss even a small life as unimportant it makes it easier to dismiss bigger and bigger lives.
Then you end up with a country invading China (not too long ago) with troops brainwashed to believe the locals were
sub-human...so it was ok to do absolutely anything!

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