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by Mark
Sun Jan 23, 2022 11:22 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Funeral Fire
Replies: 4
Views: 49

Re: Funeral Fire

Welcome to the site, Ben. We need more voices, so thank you for showing up. Two well-written pieces with some original phrasing and imagery, and good endings too. Critically, I'm not convinced the title lives up to the more delicate writing in either singular or communal form. I'm guessing a quick r...
by Mark
Sun Jan 23, 2022 10:44 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Going home
Replies: 12
Views: 527

Re: Going home

Thanks for looking, Colm, and for those generous and encouraging remarks. I think you are right about the use of plain-speak to convey abstract concepts. Guess I like this one too.

 
by Mark
Sun Jan 23, 2022 10:32 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: I would like to imagine
Replies: 5
Views: 59

Re: I would like to imagine

Nice read. I think the poem ends well at the first full stop.
by Mark
Mon Jan 17, 2022 10:10 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Going home
Replies: 12
Views: 527

Re: Going home

Just kicking this up the board again after a minor change as a sort of tribute piece to my sister-in-law Haley who died on November 29. It wasn't written with her in mind but it fits now. 
by Mark
Mon Jan 17, 2022 9:59 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Hi, Strangers. Long time no write.
Replies: 6
Views: 188

Re: Hi, Strangers. Long time no write.

My kind of music. Amazing what you can find on Spotify. As you slipped deep purple in as a description then how about sabbath black?   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qanF-91aJo




 
by Mark
Mon Jan 17, 2022 9:52 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: 6 PM News
Replies: 3
Views: 126

Re: 6 PM News

The intentionally jumbled feel to the writing reflects the chaotic situation quite well.
by Mark
Mon Jan 17, 2022 9:46 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: After the Pandemic
Replies: 6
Views: 149

Re: After the Pandemic

There's all kinds of evil shit to look forward to after the pandemic like - censored -.

 
by Mark
Mon Jan 17, 2022 9:40 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Happiness (revision3)
Replies: 6
Views: 151

Re: Happiness (revision2)

Cool poem. Reminds me of this one time when a big black and yellow rain spider set up shop in the kitchen of this raggedy house we had in the bush. Left it alone as a flycatcher. Used to feed it live insects and it got quite tame. Sold the place to a renovator and had to take the spider, Millie, wit...
by Mark
Mon Jan 17, 2022 9:28 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Untitled
Replies: 4
Views: 78

Re: Untitled

Gloomy stuff but interesting. The writing has a sort of overall staccato texture which works in the context but perhaps stumbles a bit here: you hunker before blazing fire within walls washed warm summer.     I'm also not sure about the definite/indefinite article aspects around stone and tomb but I...
by Mark
Mon Jan 17, 2022 9:18 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: I could walk
Replies: 6
Views: 100

Re: I could walk

A wry and chatty easy-reading narrative but perhaps a bit less would also be a bit more.