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by Qwerty
Wed Oct 20, 2021 7:26 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Your Name
Replies: 6
Views: 1792

Re: Your Name

Well, looks like I'm not going to receive any feedback. Like some of the poems posted here, it's somewhat autobiographical but I didn't think it was all that poorly crafted. If it is, sock it to me...
by Qwerty
Mon Oct 18, 2021 9:53 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Your Name
Replies: 6
Views: 1792

Your Name

This white hair and Choctaw chin don't make me a chip off the old block. But I could have used a piece of you when the chips were down and I was out of aces. You cloned and collared me to place your bets and play your hand. But I’ve got my own cards now and they won't be fuel for your feeble fire, w...
by Qwerty
Sun Oct 17, 2021 4:04 pm
Forum: The Commons
Topic: The "N"
Replies: 6
Views: 7911

Re: The "N"

Jackie, I don't know what most of the poets here assume but perhaps the following will be helpful. The persona (speaker) in a poem can be but isn't necessarily the poet. Either way, the power of the poem lives in how it affects the reader, not who the speaker is. It's similar to the difference betwe...
by Qwerty
Sun Oct 17, 2021 3:14 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Not even bread and water
Replies: 13
Views: 3068

Re: Not even bread and water

Powerful, poignant! Good one Colm. And you reminded me that the persona is not necessarily the poet. My first thought was that the line endings somewhat blurred the impact/meaning. Not sure the following would help you improve the poem, but for what it's worth... Title = The Unused Bullet (echoes th...
by Qwerty
Tue Mar 09, 2021 2:38 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Redolent
Replies: 2
Views: 1570

Re: Redolent

Good story, Gyppo. Things I could see, feel and even hear. I've heard of dog-eared pages but not foxed pages so I looked it up... perfect word! Your poem reminds me of how much I miss going to the library now that the Covid crisis has shut it down. Still do most of my reading on a Kindle but it can'...
by Qwerty
Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:25 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Outdoors
Replies: 2
Views: 1451

Outdoors

[Outdoors is a temporary title in case I ever want to submit this poem to an e-zine. As you all know, some editors consider a poem published even if it's posted in a forum for critiques. The actual title is the last four words of the last stanza.]  I came out here to be alone, to speak to the stars ...
by Qwerty
Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:09 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: On Becoming An Impressionist (revision3)
Replies: 13
Views: 5303

Re: On Becoming An Impressionist (revision3)

Well, I like your poem and perhaps version 3 best of all. It touched the poet in me because I always run my poems through my wife's filter, and if she tips her head, I worry that other readers might tip their heads too because I've not found that tricky balance between confusing, enigmatic and ambig...
by Qwerty
Sun Feb 28, 2021 10:37 am
Forum: The Commons
Topic: Poetry Aloud
Replies: 5
Views: 3610

Re: Poetry Aloud

Thanks for the links. Yes, Redmond is terrific! Consistent eye contact with her audience, expressive but not exaggerated body language and gestures, and she delivers her poem with enthusiasm and without a piece of paper! About singing your poems. I think it was Ezra Pound who said... "A poem fails w...
by Qwerty
Wed Feb 24, 2021 3:33 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Something old. My bakery poem.
Replies: 7
Views: 3076

Re: Something old. My bakery poem.

Gyppo, really enjoyed this. Lots of things to see and smell and feel! You're from the UK and you kicked started your bike so I'm thinking it was a Triumph or a BSA? Maybe a Norton or a Matchless? Mine was a Royal Enfield, the 750 Interceptor. Baker to Biker. Thanks for posting this!
by Qwerty
Wed Feb 24, 2021 3:14 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Cottonwoods
Replies: 16
Views: 5808

Re: Cottonwoods

What a wonderful poem. Proof, once again, that poetry can be as good as prose in telling and showing a story with an arc from a beginning to a middle to an ending that gives us something to take home. Thanks.