The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Usually avoid poems about poems but I enjoyed this very much, with its brief, biting images. 

I read this at a gallop, the lines fell so well, then returned for a slower read to absorb it all.  I like this. The ending, in particular, comparing the girls' hair to a grove of quaking aspen, is beautifully done. 
 

I love this strange short poem, Tracy. I did not know Monte Hall had such a wish. (Shakespeare, not Lets Make a Deal? As if.) 

The poem's rueful tone is well done, understated. I'm not sure the final line is needed, though. I very much enjoyed the read.

 
 

The first line,

I could murder a cuppa,

I found a little over-familiar ... not quite the equal to the fine poem that follows.
 

Some interesting word choices, the "nose" of Jesus -- ha! I have never really thought about that feature. Assume this is about the shroud of Turin.  There is a just a little bit of a lecturing tone to the last sentence  which I found just a little off-putting. "Where the sun sets, Western enlightenm...

Thanks for the read and critique, Dave. I'm not sure I quite follow you with the repeated lines, but I appreciate your taking the time to comment. Not a new subject, the escape to Italy, you mean? That's true. Though a new subject I am not sure actually exists.  :D Years slip by, and bread crumbs di...

I keep one foot in the frigid waters of Lake Washington and another in the balmy ocean near the Ko'olau mountains in Hawaii. I'm here at the invite of my dear friend Tracy, whom I've known for years through various poetry sites.  I've published here and there, and have won zero poetry awards. I look...

   Come to Italy and live in the sun,                                                               you write.   Serenity is a giant orange waiting to be plucked  from the gnarled trees near  the old tracks from Naples.    Look, how the years are slipping by… five, ten, fifteen… the years disappear...