The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Thank you for posting this poem. It is so deeply textured, layered, and yet straight to the point. Nit one -- S.1 L.7 swaying >sway.  Just asking. Nit two -- how does S.2 seem to you without L.2?  To me it feels stronger, as the substance of L.2 is then implied for the reader. S.1 powers right along...

The repetition as it develops is effective - chant-like.
Good contrast of the last line, and well set up!
I notice the cadence match with "Strawberry Fields Forever" - but not the same thing, for certain.


T

Nice poem - grim finale.
An allegory for MWC, is it? Just asking.

T

Welcome Kate - good to have you here. Your strong narrative voice will be a great addition.

Cheers.

T

Real nice poem. Lots of memories it draws upon for me. "Sledges" is a new word I needed to look up, I didn't fit it to this context. Must be a UK thing.

'script' > scribe or inscribe? just asking.

Thanks for posting.

T

I can't tell you how excited I am about this site.  I have been writing off and on for lots of years, but have [semi] seriously been trying to get better at this for the last five years.  In elementary school we were made to memorize and recite poetry - Longfellow, Whitman, Van Dyke etc. My dad read...