The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Banishing the beggar from suburbia’s gated community -- This reads like a parable, but I resist the lesson.  

T

If I am understanding this right, the poem is a clever, light, and rather direct narration by a spirit who hasn’t gotten to the other side yet.   The line breaks seem artful.  The sounds and pauses in the first two stanzas are especially nice. I was initially feeling that S.3 L.3 was the weak link, ...

Late to the party on this one.

Psychic nightmare, this recitation.  The witness of a mirror - very powerful.  The voice of his mother conjures the gremlins of a traumatic childhood now running amok within him.  The last three lines are a stunning, well earned ending.

Excellent writing, Tim.  

T

Death in abstentia. The sense of substance, feeling, and emotion vacating the world, like a film over everything. Something happens - unsettling the dust - but means nothing.  Even the decedent is absent.  Sad poem, I don’t know if I got it all, or most, or some.  Still, it made me think, reflect, ...

Drug deal gone bad, someone (Speaker) got the snot beat out of ‘em.  S. 5 & S.6 are wonderful! Love the closing rhyme.   Not sure why the commas at the conclusion of L.2 & L.3, but am grateful that practice discontinues.  You might consider losing the closing period as well.  Just a thought. “. . . ...

Will Your Anchor Hold In the Storms of Life This poem consists of five stanzas, alternating free verse lines of 2-3-2-3-2.  The Speaker is in a church which has the customary large-scale crucifix - Jesus suffers and bleeds .  The poem's Speaker engages in the ritual hand-shaking with those around h...

Parts of this suggest the title "The Day After".  Just saying. 
 

I can’t say how delighted I was this morning to wake to the sight of new colored lights winking at me through the window from the turnip patch out back.  This poem envisions something beyond the quaintly imagined Armageddon of bygone literature.  This approaches absolute zero on the neuro-synaptic t...

I love the ending to this Tim.  It takes a while getting there, but maybe the meander is your point.  The phrase ‘think thoughts’ doesn’t work for me, and the grammar in S.7 is wobbly.  

Still, the strengths of the poem are evident and abundant.

Cheers.

T

Hi Phil,

I like the tear/hear/fear echoes. The sounds of the poem are good. 
Sorry, I'm not making much sense of the text.

T