The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Thanks for comments, guys. I woke up with...

down a lane from the railway station
on the blue collar side of the tracks

and then the keyboard expanded it later to four whole lines!

Ha - I like Dave's logic but Colm's too. A lot has to do with the duality of Christianity - like how it takes an evil god to define the good god - ... there is no Anti-Buddha, Anti-Shiva, etc is there, now? I think all the gods of Christianity are evil now, anyway. 

Good poem.

A well-handled controlled delicacy of language construction, most pleasant to absorb. My only quibble would be the punctuation after the middle of S1 - perhaps a fullstop after comfortable and start a new sentence with Memories? The rhythm feels better to my ear, too.

The ending could be taken as a bit wooden but I got it more as like a deadpan drollness. How odd that anyone shouting hey shaddap at the loudmouth would have been considered the greater oaf of social convention. Linda, the way you shape word creations is as smooth as butter 8-) a perceptive vignette...

A thoughtful and picturesque narrative poem with some excellent phrases and imagery. A very enjoyable read. On the first read it felt like it might be getting long but from the second onward, it was all silk. Sterling work, Ty.

Reads like an anarchist's take on hypocrisy. Another well rounded piece of writing on your religious theme. Quite evocative.

This is well-constructed, no side-road ambiguities, just alone in the dark of the forest, a little scared but grounded in something... faith? Good stuff, Dave.

I too notice the adverbs flawless and easy as seemingly bad grammar but no real worries. Some of the internal rhyme a little too homespun maybe, and the last line after the comma feels flat and lumpen, 'telly' as the prose writers might say.  Also wondering about the usage of sojourn in the context ...

I think 'fragments' is key - how does one encapsulate thirty years? One could write 100 poems with the same title and each would be different - another exhalation. Shallow tap root is an interesting metaphor. Good writing - S4 does seem different though, the ending may be a little elaborate by compa...

I do like S2 a lot - S1 seemed a little complex - well written for sure but S2 has a marvelous landing. Enjoyable read.