The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

I enjoyed this, Gyppo, especially thinking how young rural boys here sometimes define a friend by how willing he is to drop everything and go to fetch firewood with you.    But your bigger point about boys and their sticks (and men and their sticks) opens my eyes.  Is that another cause of our huge...

Fun, Trev. I'll be you could find an artist who'd enjoy working with this.

Jackie

So many wonderful descriptions, Eric, like “fishes for sunlight.” The Green Man is my own idea of the legendary Johnny Appleseed.    The voice is interesting here. You tiptoe around being didactic about your theme—that’s a hard balance to keep. Just two italicized quotes from his preaching, and the...

Phil, I do like your sonnet, a mixture of a classic opening and classic worries with intimate, personal details. It feels so forgiving to read. 

Could line 12 lose a comma and gain a question mark?

Much enjoyed
Jackie

Eric, I like the way your characterization is everywhere—meanings of words, visual appearance of the poem, and sound effects. The stanzas about Her stumble clumsily between lines of irregular length and two-beaters, while the stanza about Me is elegantly aligned rows. She expires as a thing that nev...

Thank you, Linda and Colm. I guess one of those cynical moments you go through. Linda, I wondered if anyone would ask about the caps. I was trying to write an Octologue: A snippet of eavesdropped conversation, a bit of dialogue, monologue, any thought that is or can be spoken aloud.  It must be a co...

Oh, dear, Linda. If this is personal, I want to give you a big hug. :shock: I do love the poem. Especially the first stanza, and the ending.  It takes me right along, masterfully, but I want to shout "Whoa!". How about "through" the night instead of "into"? It seems clearer, and you're building up t...

Thanks so much for your comments, all.

My head is into prose right now, with several projects going, so I'm actually doing "if I could" quite a lot these days.

Jackie