The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Hi Marc The first line  makes sense if seen in light of lines 6&7 but the link is tenuous. Besides the first line is overwritten - she deserves more credit already containes the idea of 'than is given' making it redundant. Later in the Poem, the word 'effort' is also a Little heavy for the Poem to ...

Thanks, Phil, nice spot. Think the line popped first and then the poem went another way. Like the rhythm of it. I'll play around till I can come up with something better.  Appreciate it.

marc

She deserves more credit than is given.
Day in, day out, 
she minds and tends her garden—
green things and pink,
slow to sprout and blossom.

Time proves no deterrent,
nor sweat a burden.
The effort seems an end, 
the outcome incidental.

I've read this several times and find more to like in each reading. I also read the comments. I know to comment on comments is frowned on, but I find nothing prosy about this poem and I'm one of those guilty of being quite content with rhyming couplets and archaic forms. All one has to do is read th...

Man, I enjoy reading this. I'm amazed at, I don't know the word, tangible, recognizable, maybe, Frank is.

The rusted-out Nova is the star of the show for me. Can't say why.

Thanks for this one. I'll be back to it often. Just don't expect anything constructive. Every read will be a selfish act. 

I read and reread this a bunch of time since coming back and have failed to comment. I still can't other than to say, "yah".

The balanced chair image of S3 is a standout among a field of gems.

I love the pacing, the relentlessness, and ever-present falling snow. of the and realizable imagery. Think you could drop "black" from S2, L2. I'm also not a fan of "whirling" in S5 - feels off, though I can't say why. The "w"  resounds nicely with, well "way", "with", and white"  and the "I" is the...

Pretty piece, but I find some of the images hard to reconcile: What are "Honey lips" and how is her face "white flower images"?  The past tense of line two is disconnected from the present in the remainder of the poem... easy fix. The poem leaves a nice impression. It has a pleasant tone and pacing,...

Interesting piece and thought-provoking. I wouldn't change a thing. To me, it raises questions about the time we live in. Have we become too cynical for poetry? Has our language been distilled of all magic? Do we rely on archaic imagery to evoke the universal in a world that shuns all hint of subtex...

I went walking at night and found nothing. No new worlds, no cosmic revelations, nothing. I looked into the sky and saw stars and I knew them and envied our ancestors and envied their gods and everywhere I looked, a constellation, and I knew it a coincidence of perspective, a number, a name, a point...