The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Jury Duty

The court room clerk
yelled all rise
the judge stepped out
his blazing eyes
were fixed on me
he took my hand
we rose up over
the witness stand
did a practice turn
around the rotunda
into the dome
and out the cupola
he like a condor
in flaring black robes
I in my Lois
Lane business suit
flew under the moon
and over the ocean
it was half past midnight
when we got to the island
a crazy party
was just getting started
paper lanterns
burned in the palm trees
a steel drum band played
Vaya Con Dios
we shuffled the drum beat
gibbons howled
the judge sang clear and loud
can I get a witness
the line forms here
everyone danced
to the conga beat
one by one each had a say
each spoke their own truth
and although none agreed
we all cheered

I remember this one Linda. Splendid, great fluidity and verve.

muchly enjoyed

Phil

Thank you Phil,

I have been sifting through old posts--having to go back to previous forums, kicking myself for not keeping past writing in a program. I am getting more serious about doing something like self publishing. I am beginning to value all the work I've put into the writing and feel as though I want to make it permanent. I'd be interested in hearing from TTB fellow writers if any of you are engaged in something similar or have published.

Hi Linda

I don't have any knowledge on self-publishing. I just send poems to ezines and, occasionally, print anthologies and magazines. I haven't had a great deal of success with the latter and ezines often don't last long. I don't have any experience beyond that.

best

Phil

Hi Linda,

Entertaining poem, though it felt a bit too random and too led by the ryhme/rhthym, I thought. Could do with being paced out more. I'm guessing the idea came from a jury member being so bored that he/she retreated into a fantasy world. Maybe that could be more explcitly teased out to give a sense of transition.

Re self-publishing, I did so for my second collection, Breeding Monsters. Details here if you want to check them out, but feel free to ask me any questions: https://www.amazon.com/Breeding-Monster ... B07JYQY5G9. My first collection, Evidence of Freewheeling, was published by Salmon Poetry, an Irish publisher (https://www.salmonpoetry.com/details.php?ID=374&a=278). There's pros and cons to both options. Anyway, any questions, just ask. Have you gathered together many potential poems to include in a collection? And have you got a title yet? It's great that you're thinking big and planning accordingly. 

Trev 

Thank you Trevor, for the read and comments, I've since rewritten this one and made the insistent rhythm even worse

The writing I'm most serious about is narrative poetry which I've been told is so yesterday (but then, so am I). 

I looked at both your links and am impressed with your accomplishments. I also appreciate the information. I have been working off and on with a collection based largely on my early years that I'm calling "Stories from the Silence" as I am  member of "The Silent Generation". Is that strictly American to name generations? It proceeds the baby boomers. We are largely ignored. We are also dropping like flies.

Hi Linda,

You're welcome.

I suppose narrative poetry (as in long poems/narratives that often have an "overviewy" feel in many parts, if that's what a narrative poem is) isn't all that common nowadays. What can often work better is focusing the narrative in on a shorter timeframe than that of traditional narrative poems, I think. Details rather than plot/overview. That's not to say a more traditional approach can't work if done well, in a certain tone of voice or whatever.

Thanks for your kind words. As I said, any questions, just ask. Feel free to milk me for info 

It probably is very American to name generations, though I see no problem with it. Maybe you could improve on the "Stories from" part? What are some titles of poems in the collection?  

Trev

I guess what I mean by "narrative" is story telling rather than whatever else there is--impressionist (?). But I don't mean epic narratives. I actually don't know how to classify these things. Some of my working titles so far:

Oz to Monocolor,
I Never Wore a Poodle Skirt,
Red Scare, Black List,
Desert Mushrooms,
He Brought Photos Home from the War

Thank you for your generous offer, you might regret it


 

For me, "Red Scare, Black List" or "Desert Mushrooms" would make a more interesting title. If a poodle skirt is a thing synonymous with that generation/timeframe, the other title could also work and give a sense of the subject matter.

I won't regret it, Linda. Fire away. I love to see ambition in a poet 

For me, "Red Scare, Black List" or "Desert Mushrooms" would make a more interesting title.

 I didn't understand your question.

The above list of titles is of separate poems under the collective title "Stories from the Silence" 

I start with my father's war stories and am working through atom bomb scares, the Mc Carthy era and wanting to be a beatnic. Daunting.