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A Wild Idea (children's poem)

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TrevorConway
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A Wild Idea (children's poem)

Post by TrevorConway » Sat May 22, 2021 12:46 pm

I used to go to the circus.
Occasionally, I’d visit the zoo,
but then, I noticed some animals were sad,
as if they had nothing to do.
 
And then, I thought, Well, how would I feel
if I was locked up all the time?
Those poor animals are trapped like prisoners,
and they haven’t committed a crime.
 
I knew I couldn’t help them escape,
’cause they don’t belong on the street.
No, they belong in natural places,
with space and mucky feet.
 
What I did wasn’t dramatic –
and some might call it lazy.
I sat down on a comfy chair
to watch animals on TV.
 
I told practically everyone I met,
and I phoned others I knew.
“You know,” I said, “you don’t need to go
to the circus or the zoo.
 
Just stay at home and watch them
in the wild on your big TV.
That way, you can enjoy them,
and the animals can all be free.”

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: A Wild Idea (children's poem)

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sat May 22, 2021 3:27 pm

Trevor - what a delightful poem.  The rhymes and cadences are very good, and the point of the poem is well done.

I can see this illustrated and published.  Much better than a lot of the pre-school books now in print.  

Don't know if you often write for the younger among us, but you exhibit a talent for it.

Cheers.

T.

Matty11
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Re: A Wild Idea (children's poem)

Post by Matty11 » Sat May 22, 2021 11:16 pm

No, they belong in natural places,with space and mucky feet.
Very true Trev! Your notion of positive TV watching made me smile :D

cheers

Phil

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Colm Roe
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Re: A Wild Idea (children's poem)

Post by Colm Roe » Sun May 23, 2021 9:14 am

Nice poem Trevor, it flows and reads well. This stanza didn't rhyme as well as the others. I know lazy and TV rhyme, but to my ears....
If it was my poem I'd go for something like this. It has the added advantage of not repeating 'TV'

What I did wasn’t dramatic –
but I came to a decision.
I sat down on a comfy chair
to watch them on television.

Anywho, just a suggestion to use or lose :)

indar
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Re: A Wild Idea (children's poem)

Post by indar » Wed May 26, 2021 8:49 am

Kids, i have a recommendation
tell your parents to contribute
to the Wildlife Foundation.

Sorry, I couldn't help myself.  :) :) :) I have  memories of terrible zoos and yet some of them are saving species we are losing in the wild. Your poem is a great way to start kids thinking about alternative solutions as well as a fun read. I could see it as a picture book with some educational messages tucked in.

San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance | Home page



 

Dave
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Re: A Wild Idea (children's poem)

Post by Dave » Thu May 27, 2021 9:58 am

While the poem has that gentle flow that can appeal to children as will the solution with watching TV, it is a little bizarre and not sure how many parents or environmentalists would feel comfortable with it as a solution.:-)

TrevorConway
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Re: A Wild Idea (children's poem)

Post by TrevorConway » Sat Jun 05, 2021 1:26 am

Hi Tracy, Phil, Colm, Linda and Dave,

Thanks very much for all the feedback. I'm definitely gonna add more to this, based on yere ideas. Linda and Col, ye've definitely caught the gist of teh piece, as yere additions fit perfectly, and the rhymes don't feel forced.

Great stuff!

Trev
 

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