The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Years ago I walked out on being Northern Irish,
stepped away from Protestant history, turned
a corner and followed an ever stretching road
of identities, plucking what I needed as I went.
I’ve been Irish, English, German, tall and short,
lazy and industrious, white and tanned, never black,
a teacher, a bookseller, translater, poet and actor,
I have been honest and faithful, a liar and toad.
I brought up children to walk their own road
and reigned them. I ‘ve cursed and been cursed,
nothing worse. My life moves forward not back.
The earth was not made 6,000 years ago
and I am busy seven days a week being someone
one half of my id considers to be me. We are
not made in God’s image, women are free.
Catholic is just another name for Christian,
deities ahve no problem with yoga,
it is good for posture. We are all earth,
wind, fire and of course water. Ulster
is a rock in the ocean like any other.
I am walking still, it is easy one foot
before the other, one breath feeds another,
one neighbour helps another, one name
names another, walking away from death.


 

Initiated by Poots?
Anywho, I enjoyed the honest, intelligent and pragmatic way you've recalled your history/life.
A very nice read; but being a Taig I would say that

deities have no problem with yoga,
it is good for posture.

Like that. I thought the poem a sensible philosophy and honest.

best

Phil

Hi Dave,

I was brought up Scandinavian Lutheran (the worst kind). Your poem reads to me like the Creed: it has the same confessional quality, the same insistent litany of statements, and dogged rhythm. I believe in god the father almighty, maker of heaven and earth and in his only begotten son Jesus Christ our lord  etc etc etc

But the content in your write is so much more meaningful: the introspection and self searching that one might call true prayer. Also its an act of courage to open oneself to others in this much more personal way. Enjoyed greatly.

Very deep dive, Dave.  Your Narrator has done some serious work to reach the point expressed in this poem.  I have not examined by journey in these terms and understand it to be a long time endeavor.  Kudos to your memorialization.

T 

Thanks for bumping this. A fine piece of writing, much enjoyed the simplicity and honesty.

Hi Dave,

Very engaging opening and first 6 lines or so. You turned me off with the opening out into the general, which felt a bit too didactic in parts. Keeping things closer to the theme of Northern Ireland and your own experience would make the poem stronger, I feel.

"ahve" is a typo about 8 lines from the end.

I've put in bold some bits I think you could delete to tighten it up.

Hope it helps,

Trev


Years ago I walked out on being Northern Irish,
stepped away from Protestant history, turned
a corner and followed an ever stretching road
of identities, plucking what I needed as I went.
I’ve been Irish, English, German, tall and short,
lazy and industrious, white and tanned, never black,
a teacher, a bookseller, translater, poet and actor, ["translator"]
I have been honest and faithful, a liar and toad.
I brought up children to walk their own road
and reigned them. I ‘ve cursed and been cursed,
nothing worse. My life moves forward not back.
The earth was not made 6,000 years ago
and I am busy seven days a week being someone
one half of my id considers to be me. We are
not made in God’s image, women are free.
Catholic is just another name for Christian,
deities ahve no problem with yoga,
it is good for posture. We are all earth,
wind, fire and of course water. Ulster
is a rock in the ocean like any other.
I am walking still, it is easy one foot
before the other, one breath feeds another,
one neighbour helps another, one name
names another, walking away from death.

Thanks for all comments. Thanks Trevor for the close read and corrections. they all make good sense and probably indeed make a better poem. I will give them due consideration, which cuts to make and what needs to stay to get my idea across.

A useful help.
Dave