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     No Place Like Home

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Tracy Mitchell
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     No Place Like Home

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Tue Aug 10, 2021 8:52 pm

~

     No Place Like Home

Awe swallows a 360 degree view
and the view swallows my awe.

Far beneath my feet the Arkansas River 
collects mountain waters of Grape Creek, 
crooning a merry course from Music Pass.  

My legs burn when I reach the cairn,
kneel to add my name to paper in the jar,
light headed, woozy in the thin air.

You did it, you made it – A voice comes 
from left of my left knee where an ant hill rises, 
a celestial dome the color of feldspar dust.  

Big for an ant, he watches with ant eyes.
I ask, How long did it take you, Ant?
He laughs, says they’ve been up here for 
seven hundred generations.

Why choose here, why stay here?  
Storms pound and drench your summit, 
gales whistle the air raw, and summer sun
bakes your world to parchment.


I say – You’ve never been to Paris or 
Mardi Gras, have you, Ant? 


No – he says – 
and you’ve never beheld a bespangled cosmos – 
when all that is holy 
    blazes         a symphony of radiance 
        across the night sky– 

it makes us feel . . . like Ants.



~

Matty11
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Re:      No Place Like Home

Post by Matty11 » Wed Aug 11, 2021 5:55 am

Lovely poem T. Perspectives on staying and travelling threaded with irony and humour as well as insight.

muchly enjoyed

Phil

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Mark
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Re:      No Place Like Home

Post by Mark » Wed Aug 11, 2021 8:53 pm

Hm. Competent write but I suspect your calves are still protesting. Another indirect campaign in your personal war on entropy of the corpus via inhaling the trails in an ever increasing appetite of stamina vs gravity. Hm hm.

Seems to tuck into this collective theme of displaying humility under existential threat. Climb a personal mountain of ambition and discover a dialogue with ants, casual in their adaptation and wisdom. Was spangled/cosmos happenstantial, I wonder?

The piece also begins to fragment half way through but unintentionally so, I believe.
I think I see stuff here that wasn't planted or at least not by the writer. On the face of it, an earnest but self deprecating snapshot - I hauled my aged ass up a serious hill bur so what anyway - aside  from the wisdom of the ant hill.
Perhaps that's enough.  

         

AlienFlower
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Re:      No Place Like Home

Post by AlienFlower » Wed Aug 11, 2021 10:33 pm

A good reminder that discoverers are not the indigenous inhabitants of a place. 
 
I like that the first two lines are echoed in the last five. It’s not clear to me, though, whether the ant or N is speaking the last five lines. Maybe for discoverers and their descendants, the “you did it, you made it”, or pride in their accomplishment, never wanes and their wonderment doesn’t last past the first view. If that’s true, then the awe at the end must be the ant’s.
 
I enjoyed this very much, T.
 
Jackie

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re:      No Place Like Home

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Thu Aug 12, 2021 2:44 pm

Thanks for your read and comments, Phil, Mark and Jackie.

Mark-- Yes, the wisdom of the ant hill -- perhaps enough.  I appreciate your wry appraisal of this.  Fragmenting? Not sure what you mean.  Seeded? Again, not sure what you mean.  Always love to hear what you have to say.

Jackie -- Yes the intent is the ant to be speaking at the end. I will try to find a way to make that more clear.    Thanks for reading this.


Cheers.

T

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Colm Roe
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Re:      No Place Like Home

Post by Colm Roe » Sun Sep 26, 2021 1:39 am

There's a saying (Turkish I think) 'Your origin is your destiny'.
This reminds me of that. Kind of like saying the boy is older than the man.
I like the shape of this...so not like a 'Tracy' poem. But such a nice read.

Dave
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Re:      No Place Like Home

Post by Dave » Sun Sep 26, 2021 9:09 am

While I enjoyed this and concur with Colm that it is unlike a Tracy poem, I would prefer it with some of the more sentimental language and commentary removed as these parts border on cliché and provide too much author direction/misdirection.

Far beneath my feet the Arkansas River 
collects mountain waters of Grape Creek,...

 a dome feldspar coloured dust. - dome here is religious enough...

and you’ve never seen holy 
    blazes         a symphony of radiance 
        across the night sky– 

like Ants do.
To me simple is better and more in keeping with the tone. Ascribing the ants with too much sentiment makes them too human, running counter to the poem.

Dave

indar
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Re:      No Place Like Home

Post by indar » Fri Oct 08, 2021 11:32 pm

Perhaps you've changed this since I first read it? Which of the two is speaking seems more clear now. But of course it never mattered because ants don't speak so one can only conclude that the dialogue is originating entirely from the N. I understand that can happen when one gets too high in the mountains. Its the old paradox: love where you live and go adventuring. I'm on board with that.

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re:      No Place Like Home

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sat Oct 09, 2021 3:05 am

Indar! Welcome back!  
Good to read your wisdom/comments again.

Cheers.

T

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