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Sounds

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Gyppo
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Location: UK

Sounds

Post by Gyppo » Tue Sep 21, 2021 3:49 pm

Hello, Strangers.  Been busy for a while.

Saw two kids playing with plastic swords today and it triggered a brief memory.

Sounds

The clang of steel against steel,
thudding blows against shields,
grunts of expelled breath,
in response to body-strikes.
The occasional blood,
or an unplanned concussion

And the anguished cry
of a TV sound engineer,
ripping off his headphones.
"Gentlemen, please!
Could you fight a little more quietly?"

Gyppo
I've been writing ever since I realised I could.  Storytelling since I started talking.  Poetry however comes and goes  ;-)

Matty11
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Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:58 am

Re: Sounds

Post by Matty11 » Wed Sep 22, 2021 4:43 am

:lol: Reminds me of reenactments I took my son to watch. There was a real enthusiasm in some of those encounters. In particular, the Celts, whereas the Romans didn't want to dent their expensive gear. Some great stunts with medieval tournaments, but the Napoleonic period was my favourite. The Hussars were magnificent.

Phil

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Gyppo
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Location: UK

Re: Sounds

Post by Gyppo » Sat Sep 25, 2021 7:25 pm

Phil.

There is indeed something satisfying about leaving a dent in the armour of some pretentious poseur ;-)  Others take great delight in collecting the visible reminders of battle.

Some re-enactors see it as an English' martial art', others see it as a fashion show.  And some of the 'Dark Ages' crew just see it as a necessary precursor to the feasting and wenching afterwards ;-)

I once saw a TV cameraman fling himself in front of the expensive lens to protect it when a ricocheting arrow was zinging around the studio.  We admired his spirit if not his common sense.

Gyppo
I've been writing ever since I realised I could.  Storytelling since I started talking.  Poetry however comes and goes  ;-)

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Colm Roe
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Re: Sounds

Post by Colm Roe » Sun Sep 26, 2021 1:00 am

Nice read Gyppo.
Love the 'Englishness' at the end :)

Dave
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Re: Sounds

Post by Dave » Sun Sep 26, 2021 11:33 am

Gyypo,
Much to enjoy in so few lines. A very audible story.
Dave
 

Matty11
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Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:58 am

Re: Sounds

Post by Matty11 » Sun Sep 26, 2021 6:16 pm

Gyppo wrote:
Sat Sep 25, 2021 7:25 pm

I once saw a TV cameraman fling himself in front of the expensive lens to protect it when a ricocheting arrow was zinging around the studio.  We admired his spirit if not his common sense.

Gyppo

:o :lol:

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Mark
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Re: Sounds

Post by Mark » Sun Sep 26, 2021 6:44 pm

Swords are serious weapons. Hm. I think a nice cutlass would do well here in SA for the next round of looting and burning. I don't believe you need that comma after blood. 

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Gyppo
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Location: UK

Re: Sounds

Post by Gyppo » Sun Sep 26, 2021 9:40 pm

Mark, when reading it aloud I find a natural pause after 'blood', which is why I have a comma there.  But I can see how others might read or deliver it differently.

Cutlass ;-)  Although it didn't belong in our time period for the shows I asked our armourer to make me a cutlass, thinking he'd enjoy the challenge.

He flat out refused.  "Quite frankly, the thought of you armed with a cutlass is terrifying."

Handling a good cutlass does encourage a certain attitude.  I can think or far less suitable things to have by the front door, just in case.

Gyppo
I've been writing ever since I realised I could.  Storytelling since I started talking.  Poetry however comes and goes  ;-)

AlienFlower
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Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 4:32 pm

Re: Sounds

Post by AlienFlower » Sun Sep 26, 2021 10:30 pm

I enjoyed this very much, Gyppo. Just a few nits: Could you remove the "an" in line 6 and the "his" in line 9? And reconsider whether all the commas are necessary? 

Somehow your introduction made the poem more poignant to me. I think we see the fighting young boys and other young male animals do as skill training for manhood so although they're not out to kill each other, it's sincere and purposeful. I wonder how it would change the poem if you had the actors' young-boy thoughts going through their heads in the first part, perhaps adding to the reason that they were not aware they were making so much noise. That is, if one day you looked at it with an itch to revise.

I DO like the poem!

Jackie

 

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