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If I Wrote the News

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TrevorConway
Posts: 210
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:30 pm
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If I Wrote the News

Post by TrevorConway » Thu Oct 28, 2021 1:45 am

Whoever it is that writes the news
isn’t very good at their job.
I mean, have you ever sat down
and actually tried watching it?
 
BOOORRRIIINNNGGG!!!
 
I don’t know how adults do it.
Maybe they have so much fun at work
that they need to wind down in the evening
with dull people at dull desks saying dull things
in dull voices.
 
If I wrote the news,
this is what you’d hear:
 
“The government is giving free bicycles to everyone.
Each one flies a considerable distance.”
 
“The war in the Middle East has ended,
saved by an unknown superhero.”
 
“Teachers have admitted,
‘We don’t know as much as we think’.”
 
“Today’s budget has been announced:
all our money will be given to children.”
 
“And lastly, the news will be cancelled.
As they say, no news is good news.”
 

Matty11
Posts: 1585
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: If I Wrote the News

Post by Matty11 » Thu Oct 28, 2021 4:40 am

“And lastly, the news will be cancelled.
As they say, no news is good news.
:D Muchly like the ending.
Whoever it is that writes the news
isn’t very good at their job.
I mean, have you ever sat down
and actually tried watching it?
 
BOOORRRIIINNNGGG!!!.............................yep, sounds like a kiddie
 
I don’t know how adults do it.
Maybe they have so much fun at work
that they need to wind down in the evening
with dull people at dull desks saying dull things
in dull voices.
 
If I wrote the news,
this is what you’d hear:
 
“The government is gifting free bicycles to everyone......giving implies free, given used later
Each one flies a considerable distance.”..............not sure what that line means
 
“The war in the Middle East has ended,
saved by an unknown superhero.”...............more fun to name one?
 
“Teachers have admitted, at last,..............................just a thought
‘We don’t know as much as we think’.”
 
“Today’s budget has been announced:
all our money will be given to children.”
 
“And lastly, the news will be cancelled.
As they say, no news is good news.”
cheers

Phil

Interlace1
Posts: 29
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2021 8:26 am

Re: If I Wrote the News

Post by Interlace1 » Thu Oct 28, 2021 9:58 am

Loved this.
My only thought was that you cut lose s1 and gain a degree of clarity. The exclamatory in s1 definitely holds the child's voice but then so does s2.

TrevorConway
Posts: 210
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:30 pm
Contact:

Re: If I Wrote the News

Post by TrevorConway » Sat Oct 30, 2021 12:42 pm

Thanks, Phil and Luke. Some good points there, many of which I'll most likely incorporate.

Cheers!

Trev

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Mark
Posts: 586
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 4:19 am

Re: If I Wrote the News

Post by Mark » Mon Nov 01, 2021 2:57 am

Fun read. Probably just as well the news is cancelled as you may run into a credibility issue...

TrevorConway
Posts: 210
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:30 pm
Contact:

Re: If I Wrote the News

Post by TrevorConway » Thu Nov 04, 2021 2:33 am

Thanks, Mark.

Trev

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