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If I Wrote the News

Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2021 1:45 am
by TrevorConway
Whoever it is that writes the news
isn’t very good at their job.
I mean, have you ever sat down
and actually tried watching it?
 
BOOORRRIIINNNGGG!!!
 
I don’t know how adults do it.
Maybe they have so much fun at work
that they need to wind down in the evening
with dull people at dull desks saying dull things
in dull voices.
 
If I wrote the news,
this is what you’d hear:
 
“The government is giving free bicycles to everyone.
Each one flies a considerable distance.”
 
“The war in the Middle East has ended,
saved by an unknown superhero.”
 
“Teachers have admitted,
‘We don’t know as much as we think’.”
 
“Today’s budget has been announced:
all our money will be given to children.”
 
“And lastly, the news will be cancelled.
As they say, no news is good news.”
 

Re: If I Wrote the News

Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2021 4:40 am
by Matty11
“And lastly, the news will be cancelled.
As they say, no news is good news.
:D Muchly like the ending.
Whoever it is that writes the news
isn’t very good at their job.
I mean, have you ever sat down
and actually tried watching it?
 
BOOORRRIIINNNGGG!!!.............................yep, sounds like a kiddie
 
I don’t know how adults do it.
Maybe they have so much fun at work
that they need to wind down in the evening
with dull people at dull desks saying dull things
in dull voices.
 
If I wrote the news,
this is what you’d hear:
 
“The government is gifting free bicycles to everyone......giving implies free, given used later
Each one flies a considerable distance.”..............not sure what that line means
 
“The war in the Middle East has ended,
saved by an unknown superhero.”...............more fun to name one?
 
“Teachers have admitted, at last,..............................just a thought
‘We don’t know as much as we think’.”
 
“Today’s budget has been announced:
all our money will be given to children.”
 
“And lastly, the news will be cancelled.
As they say, no news is good news.”
cheers

Phil

Re: If I Wrote the News

Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2021 9:58 am
by Interlace1
Loved this.
My only thought was that you cut lose s1 and gain a degree of clarity. The exclamatory in s1 definitely holds the child's voice but then so does s2.

Re: If I Wrote the News

Posted: Sat Oct 30, 2021 12:42 pm
by TrevorConway
Thanks, Phil and Luke. Some good points there, many of which I'll most likely incorporate.

Cheers!

Trev

Re: If I Wrote the News

Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2021 2:57 am
by Mark
Fun read. Probably just as well the news is cancelled as you may run into a credibility issue...

Re: If I Wrote the News

Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2021 2:33 am
by TrevorConway
Thanks, Mark.

Trev