If I Could

[AlienFlower]

I would install at eye level 

a dial either of us in passing 

could tune finely,

calibrated by conflict—

 

make that one continuum from unruffled…

tease…provoking all the way to War, and another by 

 

intensity 

from soundless…humming…dancing 

clear through to

Uproar. Restyle our lives. 

Dismiss 

the gone by

and enable a new keeping

 

for a while, if I could.

[indar]

If only. If only that view of everyone being on a continuum, able to influence to the  joyous vitality of conflict and resolution. 

[Matty11]

Progresses with your unique inventiveness Jackie. From would to could. If we could calibrate technology to...

[Colm Roe]

Indeed, Jackie...if only we could.
An inventive and engaging write.

[AlienFlower]

Thanks so much for your comments, all.

My head is into prose right now, with several projects going, so I'm actually doing "if I could" quite a lot these days.

Jackie

[TrevorConway]

Hi Jackie,

A bit too heavy on the abstract for me. I'd like to see some concrete detail and simpler language mixed in. The current approach keeps me at too much of a distance, I find, and I think the title could be improved.

I've underlined the phrases that stuck out for me as particularly orignal and impressive.

All the best,

Trev

I would install at eye level 
a dial either of us in passing 
could tune finely,
calibrated by conflict—
 
make that one continuum from unruffled…
tease…provoking all the way to War, and another by 
 
intensity 
from soundless…humming…dancing 
clear through to
Uproar. Restyle our lives. 
Dismiss 
the gone by
and enable a new keeping
 
for a while, if I could.

[Eric Ashford]

Hi ancient flower, I have read this several times here and at first read was puzzled but interested in many of the lines, but this morning a kind of clarity emerged from the page, and all though I could not say exactly what your aiming at, it feels true in an abstract, stream of consciousness way. I have written many such works myself, and in the end its often hard to express the
meaning of a work in any precise and logical way, yet still they remain as strong writes in their own non-linear logic way.
The 'what if' theme comes through as a yearning for mathematical certainties in an often seemingly chaotic world.
Good stuff.