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Generation Procreation

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TrevorConway
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Generation Procreation

Post by TrevorConway » Sun Apr 24, 2022 1:03 am

They breed on social media,
with pink skin wrapped burrito-tight
in cotton blankets,
wrinkled eyes,  
hair as feint as the lines of a globe.
 
And so it is:
another man I knew as a boy
packed into a Summerhill desk
surrenders to the pageant of parenthood
and all its perverse joys.
 
A cold contagion has taken root
among my generation; our eyes
are fixed on a vast horizon:
death and birth are serious things
when you’ve had forty years of life.
 
We have discovered
we now look like our parents,
our skin blemished like week-old fruit.
Sentiment has steered us
to thoughts our twenties would never allow.
 
Some are fathers by default,
by accident or sheer assumption;
others, I imagine, through boredom.
A few, too – I see it in their faces –
gave into a brand of fear.
 
In thirty years, they’ll flood again,
these wincing creatures – our grandchildren;
or photos of us, posted by others
to announce our loss and silently say
that death is contagious too.

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Eric Ashford
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Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2022 4:35 pm

Re: Generation Procreation

Post by Eric Ashford » Tue Apr 26, 2022 8:19 am

Lots of interesting lines in this one Trevor.
The poem explores both these cyber-times, parenthood and aging very well.
I do feel that a tighter focus on just one of these themes might have sharpened the message.
S1 creates the on-line pre-genetic creative soup of these cyber times and its social consequence's
most vividly, but then goes off on another tangent which was confusing to me.
However S2 contains some of your finest lines.
Nevertheless this is a fine write.

Dave
Posts: 2071
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

Re: Generation Procreation

Post by Dave » Thu Apr 28, 2022 7:31 am

I am with Eric here in that the poem exhibits some excellent lines - my favourites being
death and birth are serious things
when you’ve had forty years of life.


Any yet the poem seemed muddled, or least I was once I had finished. It started with the title - who is this Generation Procreation? Surely this is rather the generation of low sperm counts, sexual disinterest and despite the scandalous headlines a search for monogomy?

Likewise, I don't feel the poem really made it clear to me who the  'They' in line 1 really are.

Sometimes the images themselves sounded great but I could not imagine them - how to breed in burrito-tight cotton blankets for example, seems like a major achievement. Are you referring to porn or where do people breed on the internet? Or are you referring to babies? In which case They breed seems strange.
S2 is clear but a jump from S1.
S3 is interesting but I can't work out which cold contagion, though it is a strong phrase.
S4 struck me as less interesting as it could actually be any generation. This is also true of the last two stanzas.

I search for the specific character of this generation and struggle - as always it may be me - to find it.
There is a strong idea and some good writing here but I find it would benefit from more clarity
Dave
 

TrevorConway
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Re: Generation Procreation

Post by TrevorConway » Mon May 09, 2022 1:19 am

Hi Eric and Dave,

Thanks very much for yere feedback. I wasn't going for any specific generation in time/history, Dave, just every generation when it reaches/near the age of 40, with similar concerns regarding their future/family, etc. Do you think the poem suffers for the lack of a focus on a certain generation in time, or would that take the focus away? I feel it might muddle things further if was also to bring in such elements. Or does my explanation make sense and negate the need for a specific generation in time?  

Cheers,

Trev

Dave
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Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

Re: Generation Procreation

Post by Dave » Tue May 10, 2022 2:40 pm

I think it is not clear enough you mean every generation that reaches 40+. The opening line suggests to me at least that you mean only the current generation of over 40s because of the clear reference to social media and the hint therefore that there age concersn derive from the new media age. But as always in such matters maybe that is just me who infers that so directly. In any case it should be clearly on or the  other a poem about today's generation, I think, and some more originla specifics or more clearly a universal poem spanning the ages.
Dave
 

TrevorConway
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Re: Generation Procreation

Post by TrevorConway » Sat May 14, 2022 12:18 am

Okay, thanks for the follow-up, Dave.

Trev

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