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Holy Connection's
Posted: Sun May 15, 2022 11:12 am
by Eric Ashford
Such a thin wafer to be the body of Christ.
The Kid tried to figure how many wafers
they could make out of one body.
Then there was the wine-blood thing.
His older sibling would let him sip beer,
he brother boasted that he often
got pissed and that wine was just piss-water.
The kid believed in the power of piss.
The nun would patiently explain
the Holy Trinity to him,
but he kept thinking of the Holy Ghost
as a giant wafer dispenser.
Jesus changed water to wine,
the lad considered it his duty to turn it
into the miracle of pee.
In the convent school
there was a crucifix on the toilet wall.
At the urinal contemplating the cross
the boy, in his own way,
was already beginning to join the dots.
Re: Holy Connection's
Posted: Sun May 15, 2022 6:52 pm
by Colm Roe
That was an irreverent poem, Eric.
You might burn in Hell for writing it, and I too for enjoying it.
Liked the exploration of childish logic, its progression through the poem, and its conclusion.
I miss that elasticity of mind...although, on a night out with one particular friend we do revert
Re: Holy Connection's
Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 9:30 am
by Gyppo
Enjoyable, Eric. I particularly liked the final verse. We all join the dots in our own way. We are likely to prefer our own patterns to those which are forced upon us.
The 'giant wafer dispenser' is child logic at its best
Gyppo
Re: Holy Connection's
Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 6:42 am
by Eric Ashford
Thanks Calm Rose,
I express my faith with irreligious words!
Re: Holy Connection's
Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 6:43 am
by Eric Ashford
Thanks Gyppo,
my child mind surfaces at off times.
Re: Holy Connection's
Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 9:34 am
by indar
and if a little baby dies, God knows how that baby's life would have played out and makes the scary heaven-or-hell decision based on that foreknowledge. But then we learn that God created us with free will. Wait!.....What?
There is a saying among honest theologians: when we die and go to heaven, we will find all the angels laughing at our theologies.
Enjoyed this one. I am partial to the voice of children in poetry trying to sort things out. The religious motif is a fine reminder of how we are born into a world of misconceptions.
Re: Holy Connection's
Posted: Mon May 23, 2022 2:04 am
by Dave
I can't help feeling the poem would work better if actually written from the point of view of the boy. As it is, for me it keeps us at a distance from the boy by referrign to hom with what are quite condescending terms: the kid, the lad, the boy who has a sibling - no teen I know of ever refers to a sibling.
The actual ideas are really interesting and could gain a lot more impact if the poem gave the impression of the significance they had for that person. At the moment it remains purely descriptive and therefore rather 'safe'.
I would also move S3 to S2 and vice versa as the dramaturgy at the moment is a little fuzzy.
I guess he in line 3 S2 should be his. I would like to know why the kid believed in the power of l
piss as well as now we have to take it on faith that that is true but without any real evidence, it seems convenient more than convincing.
Likewise duty in S4, the boy's faith seems too vague to realyl have the impact it could.
All in my opinion of course. Love the idea and the potential here.
Dave
Re: Holy Connection's
Posted: Mon May 23, 2022 2:05 am
by Dave
By the way, why the apostrophe in the title?