Ebony/Ivory

[avwhis6466]

My eyes trip over your teeth
as they skim across,
trying to read your smile.

Some days, a mouthful of wisdom,
others, of canine bite and growl.
On more than one occasion
the soft tissue of my fingertips,
so eager to know you,
has been caught and cut
by your jagged bone.

You’ve spoken my thoughts
wearing a blood-tinged smile,
sometimes a smudge
of Roman Red lipstick,
others, the devilish grin
of a carnivorous desire.

[Tracy Mitchell]

Wow - love this!  A poem with real bite.

So much with so few words. 

Excellent opening line, for all of the right reasons.

I like the way the central metaphor carries through the poem.
Only suggestion would be to consider deleting 'innocent' (S.3 L.3).

Roman Red lipstick > 

T
 

[avwhis6466]

Thank you so much, Tracy! Yes, upon reading through again, I agree with dropping “innocent.” Superfluous.

Thanks again.

[indar]

Wow

This is chilling.

You’ve spoken my thoughts
wearing a blood-tinged smile,

The above lines in particular. The most intimate of relationships can be the most dangerous. Love the detail. I also noticed the roman red lipstick. Thanks for posting this.

[Tim J Brennan]

Nice carry w/red through the last S (e.g. blood, red, devil) and also the animalistic tendency throughout....

Enjoyed reading this. Economical. Pointed.

[Dave]

I am sorry I am being thick, and simply can't really get beyond the first 3 lines in which the teeth seem to skim across and read a smile. In know this is not what is meant but it is what I read and re-read over and over. Teeth that can read. Not being a dog person, don't really relate to the rest, I am afraid.
Dave

[avwhis6466]

I am sorry I am being thick, and simply can't really get beyond the first 3 lines in which the teeth seem to skim across and read a smile. In know this is not what is meant but it is what I read and re-read over and over. Teeth that can read. Not being a dog person, don't really relate to the rest, I am afraid.
Dave

Thanks Dave for your comment. A big clue lies in the title. The poem actually has to do with playing the piano. The eyes are trying to read the smile of the teeth (i.e. the keys).

Hope that helps

[Dave]

Thanks that helps. I can relate to how the poem and therefore the piano moves for you. I am as ignorant of pianos as dogs.
Dave
 

[indar]

Funny--I questioned the title "Ivory" without taking the clue. Makes sense now but perhaps a bit more in the title would help---something like the word "octaves" or---

[avwhis6466]

Funny--I questioned the title "Ivory" without taking the clue. Makes sense now but perhaps a bit more in the title would help---something like the word "octaves" or---

Maybe Ebony | Ivory ?? A little more specific, and it hints at the duality discussed in the poem.