Gravity

[Colm Roe]

In a black hole
beyond the event horizon,
any unfortunate entry, results  
in spaghettification, 
gravity so strong, it
pulls more on feet than head.

It ionises atoms, then
separates nucleons
un-gluing the gluons.
 
Time almost stands still.

When my 88 year old dad is asked
how long he's married
he'll say '65 years', and add
'It only seems like yesterday;
and you know what a lousy day that was!'

Mum always smiles,
his corny jokes just reinforce 
their attraction
and Einstein's equation 
that E=M




 

[Tracy Mitchell]

Good lord, this picks up steam.  From a so-so opening, the fans hit high gear! The winds in my ear!

separates nucleons / un-gluing the gluons -- Great stuff!

I didn't think the closing lines carried their weight, but what went before was enough to carry the poem, in my view.

Cheers.

T

 

[Colm Roe]

Thanks T,
E=M (Energy = Mass) I thought finished it nicely...the effort they put into their marriage was so substantial it became something solid :)
Probably too much going on to see that. 

[Tracy Mitchell]

Duh!  You're right, and I should have seen it -- it is obvious now.  Sorry.  It is a nice wrap up now that I see it. 

T

[Colm Roe]

[Mark]

Nice writing. Could almost be 2 poems after 'time almost stands still'. Some stellar phrases in this very good piece.

[indar]

In a black hole
beyond the event horizon,
any unfortunate entry, results  
in spaghettification, 
gravity so strong, it
pulls more on feet than head.

It ionises atoms, then
separates nucleons
un-gluing the gluons.

 
Hi Colm,

The beginning reads a little too sciency and abstract to me. What would you think of:

In  black holes
gravity is so strong it spaghettifies,
ionizes atoms, then (note sp)
separates nucleons
un-gluing the gluons.

Love love love the remainder.
 
 

[Colm Roe]

Thanks for the suggestion indar.
I had been wondering if the first half was a bit too prosey.
But there's no time now to edit; I'll look at it when this Summer Madness thing succumbs to Autumn

[dploeser]

i thought okay, a poem about black holes and gravity, then a sharp turn, down to earth.  nice writing

[Colm Roe]

Thanks David.