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Christmas Eve (children's poem)

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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TrevorConway
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Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:30 pm
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Christmas Eve (children's poem)

Post by TrevorConway » Tue Jul 13, 2021 4:06 pm

I don’t know how Santa does it,
stopping at so many homes,
squeezing himself down dirty chimneys
whilst weighing twenty-odd stone.
In fact, I’d say it’s suspicious,
a downright impossible task,
and can we believe that Rudolf et al.
could really fly so fast?
 
You might ask, “how do children
get all those wonderful gifts?”
It seems to me an exhausting task
that could only be done in shifts.
We all have a curious neighbour
who smiles whenever we meet.
He’ll dress himself up on Christmas Eve –
there’s a Santa on every street.
 
 
 
 
 

Dave
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Re: Christmas Eve (children's poem)

Post by Dave » Wed Jul 14, 2021 1:28 am

It is well written and fun Trevor. It took a little while reading a loud to find a comfortable rhythm given the various lengths of the lines and the fluid metre. Something closer to iambic pentameter would flow perhaps more easily.

I am curious at the age of the children to which it might be pitched, since it reveals in its own way the myth behind the man.

Matty11
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: Christmas Eve (children's poem)

Post by Matty11 » Wed Jul 14, 2021 1:59 am

Hi Trev

I like the notion of a Santa on every street. Perhaps a 'cheery' rather than the more adult 'curious'? Not being politically correct, but kids can be sensitive about weight...

Phil

TrevorConway
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Re: Christmas Eve (children's poem)

Post by TrevorConway » Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:55 am

Thanks for the feedback, Dave and Phil. Nice to get it.

Trev

TrevorConway
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Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:30 pm
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Re: Christmas Eve (children's poem)

Post by TrevorConway » Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:56 am

Thanks for the feedback, Dave and Phil. Nice to get it.

Trev

TrevorConway
Posts: 210
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 2:30 pm
Contact:

Re: Christmas Eve (children's poem)

Post by TrevorConway » Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:56 am

Thanks for the feedback, Dave and Phil. Nice to get it.

Trev

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