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General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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SaroLee
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:43 am

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Post by SaroLee » Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:47 am

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Last edited by SaroLee on Tue Oct 16, 2018 11:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dave
Posts: 2104
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

Re: The Love I have for you

Post by Dave » Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:08 am

Welcome
I guess the advice and comment you will mostly receive at first is:
show don't tell - use images, sensory langauge, strong verbs, fewer modifiers like adjectives and adverbs.
use concrete imagery and not abstract language: in life it is fine to say to some one I love you but in poetry, it is deadly.
read lots of poetry and her eon the site read the comments and learn to comment as well
avoid subjects like love since they have been done so often by better writers than you or I will ever be
write, write, write
Dave

SaroLee
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:43 am

Re: The Love I have for you

Post by SaroLee » Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:23 am

Dave wrote:
Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:08 am
Welcome
I guess the advice and comment you will mostly receive at first is:
show don't tell - use images, sensory langauge, strong verbs, fewer modifiers like adjectives and adverbs.
use concrete imagery and not abstract language: in life it is fine to say to some one I love you but in poetry, it is deadly.
read lots of poetry and her eon the site read the comments and learn to comment as well
avoid subjects like love since they have been done so often by better writers than you or I will ever be
write, write, write
Dave
Most of the people like my poems. So I just want to keep on that way for my audience. Anyway thank you for your comment.
 

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Colm Roe
Posts: 2956
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:45 am

Re: The Love I have for you

Post by Colm Roe » Tue Oct 16, 2018 9:07 am

Hi and welcome SaroLee,
Have to say I don't like this. I did read it several times to give it a chance, but no, this is not for me; and I couldn't even start to recommend ways of improving it...actually I'll give you one, get rid if 'bunnies'.
Sorry to be so negative with your first poem.
Regards

SaroLee
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2018 7:43 am

Re: The Love I have for you

Post by SaroLee » Tue Oct 16, 2018 9:31 am

Colm Roe wrote:
Tue Oct 16, 2018 9:07 am
Hi and welcome SaroLee,
Have to say I don't like this. I did read it several times to give it a chance, but no, this is not for me; and I couldn't even start to recommend ways of improving it...actually I'll give you one, get rid if 'bunnies'.
Sorry to be so negative with your first poem.
Regards

OkOk Bye ! I know all !

Dave
Posts: 2104
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

Re: The Love I have for you

Post by Dave » Tue Oct 16, 2018 1:17 pm

Extraordinarily conceited attitude if i may say so

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Colm Roe
Posts: 2956
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:45 am

Re: The Love I have for you

Post by Colm Roe » Tue Oct 16, 2018 6:55 pm

SaroLee,
Please go to the General Poetry Board, Welcome -- Start Here 
then carefully read all threads...especially the excellent Etiquette advice from Tom.

'Most of the people like my poems. So I just want to keep on that way for my audience.'

We all come here to improve, we achieve this by listening to generous critiques from our
fellow poets. If you're just looking for an audience, and if you're not interested in
improving/listening this probably isn't the site for you.

'OkOk Bye ! I know all !'

As a Moderator I have to warn you that that type of response is not acceptable. You may not 
agree with my critique, but I am entitled to dislike a poem; as others are entitled to dislike 
any of my poems.  

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